And many, many foods can aid masturbation.

Or he could re-reconfigure it to a different different meal and re-rename it The Brady Lunch.

Maybe not, but who is?

Damn right. I take my sunburns and skin cancer like a real fuckin' man.

The Rev. Billy C. Wirtz

You know what they call a Brazilian wax in Brazil?

I used to date an admiral's daughter, but her naval base was always filled with discharged seamen.

Now do one for the Panama invasion!

Archipelago fuck yourself and these pun threads too!

I've already moved on from your thing. The Vietnamese have too.

He'd need a big goddamn machete to cut King Kong in half.

I would've preferred Kong: Skull Peninsula.

And both get shot by Joe Pesci!

I would also accept at least one ill-placed R in a word, such as crowboy or broat.

I don't even remember one Yeti 9/11 allegory.

John C. Reilly can deliver a fuck as well as anybody. Exhibit A from Walk Hard: "God damn, this is a dark fuckin' period!"

I used to work with a woman who had completely drawn on eyebrows at my high school grocery store job. She was the nastiest, most evil fucking person I've ever had to be around. But she was the boss' wife, so I couldn't say or do anything about it. I've been biased against drawn on eyebrow people because of her ever…

You really should give him that plate of blintzes you promised.

Well Bon Jovi is a cowboy. On a steel horse he rides. And he's wanted, WANTED, dead or alive.

Why should INXS care about Joe Biden being at SXSW? I mean sure, we're all a little envious of Diamond Joe, but come on…