But then Tuesday will roll around and it's back to Nermal.

A new band I've been playing with is finally starting to make some real progress. What started as aimless jamming is now about a 30 minute set nearly ready to play in public. We're playing our first "gig" of sorts Thursday night by playing some songs at a house party of our singer. It's low pressure, but will be good…

I'm going to try my hand at a chili verde this weekend. I found a recipe that looks pretty good and manageable. We'll roast a bunch of tomatillos with garlic, jalapeños, onion and poblano peppers. Then cut up a pork shoulder, brown it in a skillet, sauté some more garlic and simmer the pork in the sauce from the…

Literally one person in this article. I'm sure you could find another person to say that.

Declaration of Excellence?

I believe it translates to "whale's vagina."

I can buy that. He keeps falling bass ackwards into wins and doesn't even try on clues he's not absolutely sure about.

I looked at my wife and said "isn't that amazing? She's a fantasy football commissioner!" when that story started. She replied with "that's what they chose for the Jeopardy interview? Something anyone with an Internet connection can do?"

Whenever Porkins isn't on screen, all the other characters should be asking "where's Porkins?"

Amen. You could say that just about AC/DC. I've never heard "Down Payment Blues" on the radio, for example.

And did I mention his best friend is a talking pie?

At my bachelor party, me and a bunch of friends were taking a cab to a titty bar. When we told the guy which one we wanted to go to, he immediately and vociferously insisted we go to this other one, because it was better, the women were hotter, the prices and drinks better, etc. etc. We agreed because we hadn't been…

I love talking with Uber/cab drivers. A lot of them have interesting stories about how they ended up in the States, or have opinions on why Uber sucks or decent conversations about music. I don't know, I just sometimes enjoy talking to people I've never met.

Maybe it's a French dude.

When I was poor, a fuck was a big deal. Now that I'm slightly less poor it still is.

Dare to dream my friend.

And you don't even want to know how many men it took to write Two and a Half Men.

Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.

*Considers numerous butt sex jokes, thinks better of it, moves on*

I live in Kansas or some shit, but there's still better places to get seafood, even around here. There used to be a nice sustainable-fishery-kind of seafood place and we have a couple good cajun restaurants in my town, believe it or not.