I think that's my favorite after a first read through.

There was a band in my town a while back simply called Nascar. Dumb name, but they were a lot of fun.

I've refused to listen to any of their songs because I hate that name so much. I know that's stupid, but I'm stickin' with it.

Me and a friend made a rap video about "Animal Farm" in freshman English class. We got an A plus on that bitch. You tellin' me we weren't cool?

That was the line of the night, in my book.

Fuck you! You don't like my music, get your own fucking squad car!

So I suppose the person who flies the pope's plane is the Aviator.

OK, now I honestly don't believe you've ever actually been in a record shop. I don't think I've ever been in a record shop and not come across at least one copy of "Frampton Comes Alive" or "Rumors."

The shoelaces are also cursed.

I wouldn't say anything quite like that, but I did see Easy Rider for the first time a few years ago and wondered what all the fuss was about. So, a couple of bikers make a drug deal with Phil fucking Spector for some reason, then wander about aimlessly for a couple hours? Peter Fonda looks so bored he can barely be…

How is that even possible? Next you're gonna tell me you've never come across a copy of Fleetwood Mac's "Rumors" or Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass' "Whipped Cream and Other Delights."

My parents had about a half dozen records in the house when I was growing up, and at least three of them were Sonny and Cher. Yet, somehow my brother and I turned into collectors with well over a thousand each.

I learned that from Dick in "High Fidelity."

The going got tough, huh?

He has been known to stir the pot.

This times a thousand.

Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad.

*Considers Parsley, Rosemary and Thyme Stallone joke, moves on*

It's more of an Albany thing.

I've never seen anyone do this or even heard of it. Gauging with your finger tips? Yes, many of us do that.