I've also done this. Grilling steaks in the snow, rain, wind-so-hard-it-blows-out-the-flame is oddly satisfying. And plus you get a tasty steak out of the deal. Fuck you, Mother Nature!

Say what you want about Velveeta, it's obviously pretty far from real cheese, but my wife and I made a mean fucking cheesy tortilla soup with it this weekend.

RUM HAM! I'M SORRY!!!!

Pretty much every time I go to a Goodwill I find one of those "As Seen on TV" products on the shelf, covered with dust and most likely broken.

Cage's "accent" in Con-Air is delightfully shitty. "You see mah wayfe, you telluh Ah love uh. She mah hummin buhd."

As was the one where Prop Joe does about five different voices/accents on the phone.

Counterpoint: Yes.

"You ever notice you don't get laid very much on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all of the coats are on the bed."
—George Carlin

It's plenty to eat it that way with a fork. Maybe that disqualifies it as a sandwich, but who gives a shit? It's tasty.

Maybe so, but my point stands. Well-prepared turkey is fucking delicious.

Smoking a turkey is the shit. I do it every year we host. Give it a brine in some cran-apple juice with kosher salt and brown sugar overnight, then smoke with your favorite fruit wood and hickory, as you said. It comes out absolutely delicious. The white meat is moist, sweet and smokey and the dark meat is even more…

The bird is, after all, the word.

We have the tradition of open-face turkey sandwiches on black Friday in my family. Or, as we've taken to calling them, "turkey face sandwiches." It's just two slices of bread on a plate, then stack on turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, add a little black pepper and eat that shit up. A little cranberry salad…

You, or whoever is cooking the turkey you eat, is doing it wrong.

Many years ago my wife (then girlfriend) and I went into an Alco so she could buy some film. While there she realized she also wanted some duct tape. At the checkout counter I saw they had some plastic play handcuffs for cheap, so I threw them in. At first I didn't realize why the cashier was giving us an odd look.

Prince is dead. We don't need to worry about Purple People.

I always heard the toothbrush was invented in Missouri. Because if it had been invented anywhere else, it would be called a teeth brush.

I don't think I've ever had a Boulevard beer I actively disliked. Some are better than others of course, according to your tastes, but you really can't go wrong. Their Pale Ale, Double Wide IPA, 80 Acre hoppy wheat and Bully Porter are some of the best craft beers I've ever had.

Boulevard's Tank 7 is probably my wife's favorite beer in the word. It's also fairly high in alcohol at around 7 percent ABV, I believe. That might be part of why she likes it, one or two and she's set for the night. Like most saisons, it's a bit too sour/skunky tasting for me, but a whole lot of people like it, so…

Is that true?