Glad to hear you're not blaming him, and yeah "every person on Earth" is a bit of hyperbole, but watch the video again. He was hardly interfering, the ball was right there in front of him, in the stands. I'd like to say if I was him I'd lay off and try to let the fielder catch it. But come on, if you're at the game…

So does Tim fucking Tebow.

I was with you until the last part. Every person on Earth sitting where Bartman was would've done the exact same thing. The ball was right there. He didn't lean over the railing to catch it. A bunch of people sitting next to him tried to catch it too. Including one guy who came down a few rows to try and get it.

Does the NFL have an anti-dildo policy*? In the two games I've gone to (at Arrowhead) you had to empty your pockets for the metal detectors, but they didn't pat you down or anything. So one could get a dildo in via pocket pretty easily.

So which directors are fake-dead, surgically-altered Kaufman and Morrison? Lee Daniels and Zach Snyder?

I like the ones who Greece up before their cam shows.

Barstools put up with a lot of assholes.

Gene Hacksaw, huh? My band has been looking for a name.

Wikipedia tells me there's been a whole bunch of European players throughout history, and that a half dozen have dual American and some European country citizenship.

I was thinking Kenley Jansen of the Dodgers was Dutch, because I saw some footage of him playing for Holland in the World Baseball Classic. Turns out he's from Curacao.

Even if you don't it's four, right? North America, South America, Europe, Asia. Are there no African players? I don't care enough to google it.

But the punch line delivers a big payday.

Nothin' better than Hillbilly Hero Hang Williams.

Minor point of clarification, but the runner was at second when they walked Rizzo. The whole point being that they could hopefully turn that into a double play with a runner at first. Can't do that with just a runner at second.

The Kansas City Chiefs still do it. Seems pretty fucking racist to see a bunch of drunk white dumbasses do that at a football game. I think the Braves still do it too.

Eddie Murray did party all the time. The man had more than 3,000 hits and 500 career home runs!

PERHAPS YOU CUBS FANS ARE ALL HOMOSEXUALS!

Killing everyone associated with the Browns and starting over may be the only way.

HELLO CLEVELAND!

I heard Bob Uecker say once that Sheen could throw in the upper 80s during filming.