He has claimed that he took a part in Eight Men Out simply so he could play a baseball player.

Gerald Ford had it right there in his contract that he didn't have to do any unnecessary calisthenics.

Damn, you're a tough case. I'm gonna guess an aspiring HVAC technician who got his GED in 1995.

And Danzig is terrible music for burnouts who dropped out of high school in the '80s and '90s.

I found The Road the most readable of any of his books I've read. I think it's largely because it's so spare and minimal. Anyway, much less of a demanding, draining read in my opinion.

It was definitely good to see them play such a tough game. I wanted the win, and that was a bullshit no-call on that pass interference against Westerkamp on third down in overtime, but I can't be too upset.

We had some friends in town last weekend so we had a small World Series/football watch party. I made a beer butt chicken and a rack of spare ribs in my smoker, while my wife made some bacon-wrapped shrimp. I brined the chicken in some salt water with Tabasco, worchestershire, soy sauce and another splash of beer. It…

Ah yes, of course. Now I'm picturing Uncle Trever being in the Navy back in Mark Twain times, navigating the Mississippi on a paddle-wheel boat, or whatever those old things were called.

I'm just curious how they sailed that Navy ship to Tennessee and Kentucky.

Hey, if I can't horrify, confound and educate people while dropping stupid puns, then what am I doing here?

Dogs also go nuts (pun absolutely intended) for cattle testicles. I had to help my dad and grandpa castrate cattle when I was a kid and they'd just toss 'em over the fence after cutting them off and the dogs would get into big, snarling fights over which one got to eat them. I was a little horrified at first, but by…

Fuck Brandon Belt and all those damn San Francisco Giants!

I was riding with my sister-in-law once when she waited for a stop sign to turn green. I didn't even realize she was stoned until that happened.

To be fair, it's not half the country, it'll probably be more like slightly less than half of all the people who vote in the presidential election. But that's still millions of idiots.

I slipped it in your mom's brownie.

Pusha T real good

Know where?

Fucking Katy Perry would be pretty awesome, and sure, why not give people an award for it?

Most of them are sour as a Lemon.

It's free and always will be. Facebook told me so right there on the login page!