Folks in San Antonio know what salsa's supposed to taste like.

Surely we're about due for some Burt Ward news.

I never thought to call up random strangers with questions. Probably because all the random people I called were specifically for prank calls.

I'm trying to come up with a non-terrible/non-get-me-on-a-federal-watchlist joke about what Bill Clinton will be feeding fat kids, but I think I best abandon that ship.

It's for a "30 rack," which gets you six more beers. But it's still Coors Light, and that's still a lot of money for piss water, so your point stands.

He just dealt Trump some Twitter trauma.

But what do us fat ass Americans love as much as shitty junk foods that give us diabetes? They wouldn't sell nearly as much anything else.

NOBODY LOOK!!! NOBODY LOOK!!!

I also love IPAs, but it's a pain in the ass to get my dad to try anything other than Budweiser or Old Milwaukee. He calls pretty much any craft beer "dark beers." My father-in-law is a bit more open minded, but he hates IPAs, "because they're too bitter" and pretty much really only likes wheat beers.

I've always been partial to "King of Suede."

Shut up Dorn.

I will have one of the best schadenfreude laughs of my life when and if Cleveland beats the Cubs for the title.

I'd give everything I own to hear Bob Uecker call the World Series games as Harry Doyle.

I'm Pledging My Time to reading this pun thread.

Has anybody made a "Bob Dylan mumbles a lot" joke yet? Cuz I got some killer stuff ready to go, with funny spellings of how he might say normal everyday words and everything!

Indeed. I went to Catholic school up until junior high. I remember a priest telling us that the stories of Adam and Eve and Noah's Ark weren't literal truths, they were allegories. We even had sex ed. Which many other Christians are fighting to get out of public schools.

When you someone Jesus it.

How the hell can you be Satan-worshipping and a Papist?

Dad, I can't see too good, is that Bill Shakespeare over there?

Any mention of Maria Bartiromo automatically triggers this song in my brain.