DQ and my grandma's house were the only places Hydrox were supplied to. Goddamn those cookies sucked. The generic sandwich cookies were better than Hydrox, both of which of course were greatly inferior to Oreos.

It's not your fault you have the genetic defect that drives you to not appreciate cilantro.

The other day my wife and I were driving along when I saw a dog that had broken free from its owner and was running free, dragging his leash. This dog, a husky, ran straight to the nearby Dairy Queen and jumped up on its hind legs at the drive through window. That dog knows what's what.

Obvioulsy. I don't even care if he plays a villain, we just need to see Tom Hanks with that haircut.

There's actually a small town in Nebraska named Ohiowa. But it only has about 100 people, so it's not like they could put up much opposition to your plan.

But you have both of your legs, hyperbolic paranoid.

Part of me thinks they always want one person on the dais who will absolutely bomb. Kind of like that dipshit from Jersey Shore who sucked at whoever's roast he was part of. But Jeff Ross even tried to help him, nobody was going near Ann Coulter.

There's no goddamn way I'm clicking on that link.

"What the fuck is an 'AV Club Proofreader?" — A.V. Club Management

Hey! I'll have you know Fuckface, MI rocks.

ITT'll happen to you!

When you see Sayreville, NJ on the list of tour stops you know the decline is in full swing.*

The Big Lebowski is my favorite Coen, comedy or otherwise, but for my money Nic Cage and John Goodman's fight in the trailer is the funniest scene in any of their movies.

I love that bit too.

I've seen that movie. I think it was called "The Texter that Couldn't Slow Down."

The telethon always reminds me of The Dead Milkmen's song "Labor Day." Those of you who loathed the telethon, or saw it as a sad end to summer should enjoy. https://www.youtube.com/wat…

13 channels? That would've been fucking luxury. I grew up in the country in the '80s and we only got two channels via the antenna on top of the roof. If we were lucky, on Saturday nights NBC would come in just clear enough that we could watch Saturday Night Live.

And why did he just decide to go shower at somebody else's house? Did he bring a change of clothes?

I abso-fucking-lutely hate "Don't Stop Believin'." If I could travel back in time I'd stop and kill Steve Perry's parents before going on to kill Hitler's parents I hate that song so goddamn much.

I am also cursed with this affliction. My wife mentions a song, or sings one line, or just the title and it's in my head all fucking day.