I think that has something to do with anal.

We got a new Subaru and I asked me wife "please, bury me with it!"

I really hope Fred Armisen was joking with the interviewer and the humor didn't come through in transcription. Because Jesus tittyfucking Christ. First of all, he defends "Wonderful Christmastime," one of the most awful, aural abortions ever recorded. Then he completely dismisses the blues out of hand? And no, being…

As somebody said around here yesterday: I hope to see Trump crushed in a landslide. I also hope he loses the election badly.

You got these lady comics talking about things that would make Redd Foxx blush! God rest his smutty soul.

I just refreshed the page and it's still "The GOP's Trump freakout." I love it.

Jesus Christ. I thought you were joking, meaning that there are stories about the GOP freaking out. But not, that's the actual headline. Ha!

The typo in that sentence about copy editors is the cherry on the sundae.

Ain't no shame in the Old Crow game. Back in the days when I was a little light on cash I'd get a bottle of Old Crow and some Squirt to make a poor man's whiskey sour. And I have a 71-year-old friend who loves to drink PBR, take shots of Crow and spin records at a ludicrously high volume into the wee hours of the…

Again, you're about to be executed.

Why sugar free? I mean, you're about to be executed, live a little, man.

This looks like it will be even funnier than the bit he had with Killer Mike serving as hype man for an opera singer.

The iPhone version sucked dick. It was way too many stupid challenges and games-within-the-game and not nearly enough fording of rivers and people being bitten by snakes.

My strippers need wine!

"I'm gonna sit here and watch this porno all the way through to the end credits."

Kyle McLaghlan (or however the hell you spell that) had a release during that lap dance.

You have shot 493,305,038,837 pounds of meat. You were only able to carry 100 pounds back to the wagon.

The cast of my nephew's kindergarten play were better at acting than Colin Quinn was at hosting Weekend Update.

Fuck all that. I'll always have a fondness for "Temple of Doom." It was the first one I saw as a kid and it's still a fun, dumb adventure movie with a guy that rips people's hearts out.

I'm probably gonna do some powerlifting.