Do they make baking soda fire extinguishers? Because that's what my home ec teacher told us to use.

My school was pretty small and we didn't have a vice principal. I remember the principal well, though. His name was Mr. Backstrom but everyone called him head because he was bald and had a terrible combover. Then he left before my senior year and I don't really remember much about the new guy.

You truly are the Man with the Golden Pun.

When 007 isn't on screen, all the other characters should be asking "Where's 007?"

Ahh Shoulda Been Gawwhawwn!!!

Many years ago I lived in a place behind a grocery store. One day while pulling out of the driveway I damn near got T-boned by a Tombstone frozen pizza truck leaving the store. I thought it would have been a bit ironic to be killed by a truck that said "What Do You Want on your Tombstone?" on the side.

A woman I used to work with introduced me to the "Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians" blogspot site. As she put it: "I should be offended by this as an old lesbian, but it's just too funny."

Fortunately, it's getting easier and easier to avoid the radio these days.

Yes, James Dean probably is in hell.

As our one, true, infallible leader obviously.

Yeah, I'm only talking about people I've encountered in my actual life. The Internet is lousy with self-righteous every lifestyle/personal descriptor you can imagine.

In my experience, atheists are often viewed like vegetarians and vegans. People claim they're all self-righteous and obnoxious about their life choices, but they're usually quiet about it unless a religious person or meat eater gets in their face about it.

If it's the endorsements keeping an actor alive, then clearly The University of Kansas Hospital is keeping Skerritt going. Because he did some commercials for them. You probably didn't see them if you don't live in the Kansas City area.

All that MILF porno may have been frequent but I doubt it was either amusing or noteworthy.

And the time before that when he did "Punch Drunk Love."

Where in the law against felons carrying firearms does it say that individuals breaking said law shall be shot by police?

I don't think you were implying this, but it's worth pointing out that Alton Sterling wasn't robbing a convenience store.

A few years ago a friend of mine scored free tickets to see these guys. He called me on a Friday morning and asked if I wanted to drive two and a half hours to see them that night, with Steve Earle opening. That was one of the best goddamn shows I've ever seen, and it was worth every second of that drive.

Was it Papa Murphy's? There's several of those around where I live. I've never understood how a business can have the model of "Want a frozen pizza? Only more expensive and you can't get all your other groceries in the place you buy it? Then have we got the deal for you."

As bad as it is, The World Is a Beautiful Place and I am No Longer Afraid to Die is much worse.