Yeah, it was odd and awesome. One of those things that would obviously never be possible, much less work in a real football game, but for whatever reason it worked pretty much every time in the video game.

That movie didn't have any quarterbacks who dropped all the way back to the back of their own end zone to heave a pass the length of the field for an automatic touchdown.

I love you, Dr. Tatum!

I know everybody's appetites are different. But I go about 215 and eat like a horse. I usually have the one with two patties and a regular order of fries on my own. I also can do a lot of damage at a buffet. But I do run a lot and must be blessed with a pretty good metabolism.

I've only ever been to the Nebraska and Kansas state fairs and all they had was a bunch of boring family-oriented bullshit and washed up bands like Tony Orlando and Dawn and, of course, Kansas. I just figured they were all like that.

Interesting avatar/comment synergy going on here.

They better be Chopin some onions to put on my burger.

Onion rings on a burger are great. Last summer I had a burger in Lexington, Kentucky that had a giant onion ring on top and the onion ring was filled with pulled pork. It was even better than it sounds.

Jesus Christ, the North Carolina State Fair sounds awesome.

Is the regular the one with two patties, or is there a smaller option with only one? Because I don't remember how they're listed but I always get the one with two patties and have never had any trouble finishing it. But, I do eat more than the average person.

And I only order items off the menu that I am assured have been or will be grilled/baked/fried/sauteed/whatever to perfection.

I remember that happening in an episode of The Rockford Files, which was a TV show from the '70s.

That had goddamn well better be set in Nebraska, the home of Arbor Day.

And what if I were to sing a beautiful, heartfelt and moving love song that just happened to mention I want to fuck the person for whom I'm expressing my love in song?

Man, would she have been disappointed.

Wait a minute. Do you think she was hitting on me? I've never been good at picking up signals.

Based on my fuzzy memories of the cartoon, I think there was a lot of glute-hammering going on in Eternia.

A few weeks ago I was at a bar with some friends and the commercial for this came on. They got all excited about it, and not being familiar with the book, I asked how Disney was getting away with making a movie called "Big Fucking Giant."

Oh yeah.

I think so, yes. Probably mostly the '80s.