I don't see why a piccolo couldn't double as a dildo.

http://www.theonion.com/art…

Hey, necks can develop new tastes as they age. But the question is whose pussy does his neck like?

I think that's implied by the "when I was 9 years old" part.

Aw, goddammit! This is what I get for not finishing the thread before making a joke. Well done, fellow oral joke maker.

"I did oral…on…Han Solo. It got…a…gag"

The village was an alleged time traveler? Or were you said time traveler?

My wife and I bought a 2013 Toyota Camry last year and part of the sale for me was the stereo. It has a CD player, radio, jack for iPod/devices and blue tooth capability as well. It's pretty great to have all of those options. The treasured car CDs can live on, and we can play stuff off our devices as well. We could…

I refuse to believe that teenagers would be melodramatic.

Even the porno? Surely that can't be a lie!

If we're having a small town-off here, I grew up in a small Nebraska town with a population of about 2,000. It was the biggest town in the county and we had to drive about an hour to get to a town of more than 20,000 which we considered the big town. My grandparents lived near a town with a listed population of 69…

It went on to become infamous when thrown across a hotel lobby by Russell Crowe.

All the time, steaks.

At least they got the Twin Peaks question right. I have a buddy who regularly drives about 40 miles each way with a guy he works with to eat/gawk at Twin Peaks the "breastaurant." I don't understand this. I'm a hetero guy and love food and attractive women as much as the next, but I don't see how it could be worth…

A friend of mine played in a band called The Denver Broncos.

I really loved the episode when she was trying to kick the morphine and, while clean, delivered a fantastic line reading on "I feel like TEN BUCKS!"

You're doing God's work, Mr. Savage.

They've done that a bunch of times. But then the commenters just bitch about "how that musician is bitter, petty and jealous. And at least comedians are funny about their hate." You can't win.

You fox-eared asshole!

I believe this is one of those things that can be two things. And also, if your dad hates Sting and is a musician, he sounds like my kind of guy.