Adolph,
the IHB got together last night and we are not going to revoke your credentials. You're good - for now.
Also, after reviewing last month's minutes and the budget, we have come up with these new hipster decrees:
1: Un-ironic is the new ironic.
2: A band's SECOND album is now their only good one.
3. Firsties have…

L-Har! It was the best firstie ever! It was an obscure reference to a vocal slip up of Dan Castellaneta on a Simpson's episode that was later cryptically written into an Animal Collective song.
I can see how you wouldn't get it. I think everyone else will though.

K-Kris
What what!

P-Bog!
What what!

The answer was:

As a prolific cryptic crossword player, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Just to be an unapologetic dick, I'm gonna go ahead and say I genuinely enjoyed "Paradice" (sic) on this album.
If that makes me a douche, then go ahead and shove me up yo' mama's V and squeeze me.

I think "I hate Valentine's Day" was the critical response to the Gary Marshall film. I could be wrong.

The only Serious movie I'm getting . . .
is Moonlight.

@Major Buzzkill:

Those kind of comments hurt more than you think. I just wanted to know about politics.

I prefer football at it's lowest level, such as in this link:

Which ad did the best job of selling me something.
Well, I did start a new website using godaddy.com right after the SB, but my site Denny's fan site. So . . . . hmmm. Oh, I also spanked it Danika Patrick later. So - godaddy for the win.

Nice, a political discussion. I've been waiting for one of these because I don't know what to think about politics. I mean, I watch all the ads on TV, but where else can a person go for accurate, insightful political information. Then I thought: the internet! Surely someone will be so kind as to take the time to…

"Also, something that always bothered me: people rooting for colleges that THEY NEVER EVEN WENT TO!"

Sinners! Christ will punish us for our wickedness!
And by "wickedness", I mean "overdue library books". And by "punish us", I mean "fine us". And by "Christ", I mean "your local public library".
You know what I meant.

I can not find this club.
I'm over by the Quad. Am I close. What the F?

Um, if celebrities don't feel problems "harder", then how come they can cry on command? Riddle me that, boners. Riddle me that.

Then what DO you do on dead people?

I think they meant nu-monia. It's like pneumonia, but edgier.