I just got green-lit for a movie script I wrote about my experiences with the Taco Bell diet. I just walked in to Universal and said, "Michael Bay, 3-D . . . " and they handed me a stack of cash.
So look for my T-Bell movie to feature lots of slo-mo 'splosions in 3-D. Which, if you think about it, is pretty…

I lost 30 pounds on the Taco Bell diet! Look for me on cardboard cut-out posters everywhere!

I hate everyone that is involved, pictured, affiliated, viewed, commenting on or otherwise linked in any capacity to, or on, this page. And now that includes myself.
If it were possible to send a flood to drown out all involved with this page, God would surely do it, leaving only the photos of Ron Perlman and Tina…

Lone Audience, I'll concede one of the best of the decade, but all time?
Have you HEARD the shit that was coming out in America in the 1100's?!?! Granted, it took a lot longer for music to travel, AND that pan flute revival bullshit in the 1150's was SO a knockoff of that underground pan flute stuff from the lesser…

Fun!
Run!
Of course.
NOOOOOOO! Not Arcade Fire!
Oooooooh. Now it makes sense.

All your football concerns can be quelled with TiVo: the only way to watch, unless at a Superbowl party with lots of booze.

I've fixed more relationships with cocaine than I have with duct tape, so I can see both sides of the "cocaine is good/bad" argument. It really just comes down to personal preference.

I'm saying that, like 50 Cent, he needs to get rich or die trying.

A quick Google search confirms that he is, in fact, not the first rocker to die from this. However, a quick Bing search shows otherwise.

Yikes! I'm glad I'm not YOUR friend, FidelAstro. I'd hate to know what you'd say about me.

@ Yabels:

Fuck The Who. These guys need to be the half-time show:

I'll be even bolder, Forss, and say this is the greatest stand up of the MILLENIUM by a guy named Aziz.
Prove me wrong.

The kid I raised IS Ben Folds. So suck it!

I just watched them live on youtube, and that woman scares me. I can't decide if it's in a good way or bad way.

Dear Aziz (I hear you read comment sections)
You are very funny and, right now, your are on the hipster "untouchable list" along with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Spoon. Many claim to give you a "lifetime pass" for Human Giant (which should age just fine and is funny no matter how many times you watch it).
Be warned,…

What was it Noam Chomsky said about eatin' pussy?

Damn! T. Steve be trippin'!

Wanda Sykes . . .
. . . has inspired me. Now, I too, 'ma be me. Sorry Carrot Top, I will still idolize you, but will no longer emulate you.

Nice work, Wingnut. And you almost did beat us all. But I'll have you know that last night I watched, for the first time ever, the 1981 Kathleen Turner/William Hurt sexual thriller: BODY HEAT.