If an infinite number of monkeys throw an infinite number of bones in the air, one will turn into a nuclear weapon-armed satellite.

This show demonstrated that every bit of abuse ever given to any geek was completely justified by proxy. It makes me want to beat the hell out of everyone else at my next tabletop RPG.

Focus groups will never let him get away with that unbelievably anti-climactic ending.

Time to have a movie marathon of Shadow of a Vampire, Antichrist, and The Last Temptation of Christ. For irony, I'll do it outside in a sunny field full of daffodils while children frolic and happy dogs run about wagging their tails.

I don't really see how Smith is ugly. Sure he's fat, but his features are symmetrical.

Wasn't there some story on like Kevin Pollak's chat show that Liberace once yelled at the parents of a colicky baby on a plane "Shut that kid up before I fuck it!"

Maybe they figure that if you watch this movie all the way to the end you must be sick enough that you would sympathize with Dr. Z.

"Deine Blaue Papieren Jude!" - Schindler's List. Didn't want any Nazis to catch me without my blue papers handy.

Wait, why is there a piece of bacon taped to the wall in Gummo?

In seventh grade the teacher read an anecdote by Gary Paulsen (the guy who wrote Hatchet and that kind of thing) where as a kid he jumped from a staircase and bit his tongue off then it got sewn back on. I apparently turned green and I remember almost fainting.

What does it say about me that I really, really want the antics in Total Recall to be phony within its own universe? I feel like there's a long boring essay to be written on the subject.

If he didn't mean detonate the bridge, why would he walk towards the plunger like that? He could have just officer's sword and cut the wire quickly.

"Capable of gold?" Maybe copper or tungsten, but I've listened to at least ten hours of them combined but never heard any gold from either.

I'm not a superfan of vintage radio, but there's this one show on a program I think was called "Escape" called "Lenigen (sic.) Vs. the Ants" with a scene where a guy has to run through a field full of army ants that gives me goosebumps and makes me twitch to think about it at least a year after hearing it. They used a…

I must be out of my fucking mind, but I still find Weaver attractive with all those wrinkles.

3d is the star here. Katy Perry is just a weak marketing gimmick.

It's like Aronofsky said to himself "Okay, CHAMP! To show what a great director you are, you're gonna take this script, which is puddle deep and often wrong about math and philosophy and full of uncinematic shit and, THROUGH SHEER DIRECTORIAL POWER, produce a movie people will think is an indie masterpiece!"

Well, you surely know you're awesome by now, but here's a reminder nevertheless.

Here's the definition of a Cool Story from a Bro about Bad Taste:

Was this the first movie to use the "character can't get traction due to blood on the floor" gag? If so, that's probably the best few seconds.