Will the doctor be sentenced to a Neverland Ranch sleepover, complete with porno mags, "Jesus juice," and bloody rectal bandages?

Which scripture passage inspired you to party with teen girls on a million-dollar luxury yacht while your wife & children were away?

Us consumers are honored to contribute to your paycheck and your lifestyle of hanging out with bikini-clad teens on the beaches of St. Tropez while your wife & children are away. Cheers.

So, about the shirtless naked dancing guy… any more scenes like this in "New Girl" and I'm gonna quit watching and just toss my TV out the window. Seriously, stop it.

"Hey, look at that zombie hanging next to his tent that is probably filled with supplies like maybe weapons or canned goods or other helpful tools for survival. Let's definitely not check inside the tent for any of these things. Oh, and Andrea, you get to walk the entire outing at night without any weapons."

Who? Casting Crows? Counting Crowns? Shucks, whatever happened to the good old days of Christian glam metal Stryper?

I'm willing to give Milla a pass on her twitter rambling. At least it's better than Ice-T, aka Ice "Eat-a-Bowl-of-Dicks" T.

Give it a rest, Lobsters.

Holy crap this show is boring.

Actually, Chevy Chase circa 1993 should win the award for worst talk show ever.

Hey Hank Williams Jr., show us your patriotism and enlist: 
www.GoArmy.com

Funny thing is, even though the Resident Evil movies aren't very good, they're still fun to watch.

My favorite part was the Agent's response to Maggie's box of Cuban Cigars. "Oh, I guess there must be just cigars in this here box because a smiling pretty lady standing in front of me this evening said so, so I won't bother inspecting it before it goes directly into JFK's hands about 70 seconds from now."

I get what you're saying. In the case of Pan Am, I don't think such pandering does any favors for these women. It's painful watching Christina Ricci deliver those lines of dialogue. And she needs to eat a sandwich.

ZOMG! Christina Ricci's character reads Village Voice instead of Lady's Home Journal?!!! This is so amazingly progressive and empowering! It's as if the feminization of domestic labor politics is being challenged right before my eyes on the tee-vee!

How about some million-dollar contracts for the animators. How much does the person who draws Bart get paid? And what about the Unpaid Interns?!?

Branagh's version is among the worst film adaptations. Laughably bad from start to finish. Sad, especially because Branagh did such a great job with earlier films like Dead Again and Hamlet.

I'm waiting for Woody Allen to cast himself into a prison cell. More information available at
http://Woody.Allen.Pedophile.Burn.in.Hell/

Fox could have avoided this years ago by circulating voiceover "actors" and limiting their contracts to a season or two. I don't care who voices Bart just like I don't care who draws him—-he's a cartoon character in a cartoon television show. Problem solved.

OK so, that Brittany song and dance number? Hot holy hell that was the best two minutes of television this year. The actor is 27, so I can say this without guilt. Somebody give this woman her own show.