Supplies, supplies.

*reads @avclub-de4a08d644135b09bd7e1a592dff156b:disqus 's poem; wipes away tears, semen*

I lived in Melbourne for 3 years, and that is indeed the best written Aussie accent I've ever seen.  I once went to a supermarket there and asked which aisle the rice was on.
"The what?"
"Rice."
"Eh?"
"Rice."
"Oh, ya mean 'royce'?  Oisle 6."

@Scrawler2:disqus 
Reformed genius John Doe: "I visited her grave this morning, trying to beg forgiveness.  It didn't work out.  So, I took a souvenir…her pretty head.  Then, I mounted it on an android body modeled after a young Brigitte Bardot."
*Brad Pitt high fives Morgan Freeman*
Morgan Freeman narration: "So it…

Thanks, Smacky.  I'm really not thinking of doing anything potentially hurtful or regretful given everything going on.  Things are going alright, for now, and we're getting some much-needed help.

Thanks, @avclub-011d0b4fe6835bb3d37ef4e0ea713de6:disqus .  I honestly think she's be cool with it if it ever happened.  Strangely, she started saying, "And if you have any desire to be with a man or anything like that, you know I'd be okay with that too, right?"  Maybe she's got some kind of specific turn-on she's…

Cool raunch.

Well, I'm still probably way too gutless and conflicted to ever pursue this, but thanks for the advice anyway!

Well I guess that proves you're not really racist against the Japanese.

Racist!

I'd like a banger in the mouth about now…I mean a sausage in the mouth, as you Yanks call them.

Dear Dik,

Forsythia?  Hydraulic monad fortuitous equestrian garter catamite forsythia wavelength!

If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room…

She's a one-woman Goofus and Gallant.

I could write a feature on child-rearing!  (Wait, that came out wrong…)

My right hand and I are going through a painful separation right now (gangrene is involved).  So you're saying your right hand is single now, correct?  Would you mind terribly if I made it an "indecent proposal"?

I'll be sure to check them out.  Thanks a lot!

Hey, Pairesta, I'm hugely interested in fiasco film-making as well, and I was just wondering what podcasts you listen to.  I'm assuming one is How Did This Get Made, but what are the other two?  Thanks in advance.

I actually started to mist up a bit reading the last few paragraphs.  I will miss this column and all your other wonderful writing on this site, Mr. Rabin, and I look forward to following all of your future endeavours.  DON'T PANIC.