Here's my pitch:

@avclub-2c17d58e6b2242a9b8928ee5eb500a90:disqus I agree, there has to be a reliable communication of information in any adaptable social system, and your example of the Tuskegee experiments is a good illustration of the consequences of the absence of such.  Information media serves an essential function.  
But I would…

@avclub-c2b1b8ce8d74964b7ca641283ddc2e8b:disqus 100% agree.  I think that one of the outstanding misperceptions of our age is the idea that information and knowledge are the same thing.  Information lives or dies by the speed of its transmission or flow, and it relates primarily to communication or calculation.…

Oh yeah, sorry.  I had him confused with Challenger pilot Michael John Smith.  The two are so very similar…

Didn't he die in a spaceship crash?

Sorry I caused all that cancer.

@avclub-c701a997d9bef627835b036efb4eca63:disqus The gentlemanly thing to do is indeed to ask permission before one starts masturbating to a lady.  That reminds me: @Scrawler2:disqus , I have something to ask you later.

Keith Moon accidentally ran over and killed his limo driver.

I throw out KITH quotes all the time, on this site and IRL, and very few people ever get them.

@avclub-4caf6aa0375b2499ebfe7e971b36eee3:disqus My wife was the first person I ever asked out.  And now we're married and I'm lying about crying about Obama's response to the failure of the gun control bill so she doesn't realize I was jacking it while I thought she was at the grocery store.  Kindly get your facts…

@avclub-4caf6aa0375b2499ebfe7e971b36eee3:disqus My grandmother was like that too!  She had senile dementia, and in her home she was put in a room with a belligerent, hard-ticket 90-year-old woman.  Once I went to visit her and the roommate was complaining that my grandmother was stealing her cigarettes.  Now, my…

Awesome.  I love the concept of a "convoluted vagina" as well…

That's genuinely very sweet.  By the way, I'm currently J'ing O to the description you just gave of her.  Hope you don't mind.

Counter-example to HDB: Me

I don't love you, but I donate you.

I read the above as "dicks" and "ducks"…

We'll colonise Uranus with our unbridled fury.  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Fur-anus! (wait, I can think of a better name…)

This exchange is much too pleasant and congenial for the Angry Dome.  Now let me in too, or I'll piss in your empty shoes!

@avclub-22eda830d1051274a2581d6466c06e6c:disqus He wasn't sad!

Rich folks smoked Doakes?