That's the first reasonable suggestion I've seen here.  Done and done.

Advice Needed (because no one on this site would ever lead me astray)

@avclub-4caf6aa0375b2499ebfe7e971b36eee3:disqus Ah, that sweet, sweet window in history between the birth control pill and AIDS. Would that this desk were a time desk…

Well, @Scrawler2:disqus , back in the late 1970s, when a man and a woman were somewhat mutually attracted or whatever, they both took some quaaludes or something and then the man half-hearted penetrated her barely-moist vagina with his semi-erect penis and they indifferently moved about until one, or maybe both,…

Here's another philosophical one for him I just thought up: "Yo momma's so fat she met an irresistible force and it cried and ran away."

Gross Point Break

@anniewinters:disqus I had no idea that whoring oneself could be so profitable!  Count me in!

Well, I still think it's one of the best opening lines of any novel, ever.  Kudos, Neckbeard!

Fast and Furious 7: Speed and Fury, Signifying Nothing

That's more of a historical fat joke, but great nonetheless.  Here's a few off the top of my head:

He's called that because his guarded personality is a metaphorical suit of armor with a single flaw (his desire to be loved).  The fact that he's Chinese is incidental.

I called my son "Gentle Herpes" yesterday by accident.  (There's a bit of a resemblance there, to be sure…)

We should craft a Sex in the City-style personality test out of these names.  I used to consider myself a Buck (obvs), but more and more I think I'm becoming a Fat.

The A.V. Club: Whores and rumours of whores.

Enjoy your CancerHodors, buddy.

Roy Rogers was out riding Trigger one day, wearing his brand-spanking new cowboy boots.  Suddenly, a cougar leaped out of the brush, causing Trigger to rear back and sending Roy flying from the saddle.  The cougar started to stalk after him as Roy frantically backpedaled on his behind, fumbling for his six-shooter.…

Ted Nugent medley!

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory?

A man runs into a psychiatrist's office covered head to toe in nothing but Saran wrap.  The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

The Beastmaster has fallen on some hard times, it appears.