I'm really hoping that one day "Dikachu v. The HR Department" is cited as the landmark case in which these unjust and, frankly, unconstitutional "public masturbation" laws are finally overturned.  Blaze on, trailblazer!

On the up side, I now have a good cover story next time I show up to work with a giant cumstain on my coat.

Fat King, Douche King,
Gay King, Worst King.
This one was gored by a boar.
Say, there's not so many Kings no more!

@Scrawler2:disqus Never gonna happen.  Take care, my friends.  Hope you're all here when I get back.

@avclub-4caf6aa0375b2499ebfe7e971b36eee3:disqus Just talked to her, and things seem to be a bit calmer.  Thanks for the words of encouragement.  I seriously need to stop posting on this site for a while, though.  It's too damn much fun, and I've got to get my shit together (and my wife's down the pipes).

I told myself I wasn't going to comment today, because I've got actual pressing work to do, but things have been a bit rough, so I just can't resist the temptation.  Ugh, I feel bad already, and I haven't even pressed the "Post" button yet.

Once Loch-ti dreamt he was a butterfly, a butterfly flitting and fluttering around, happy with himself and doing as he pleased. He didn't know he was Loch-ti. Suddenly he woke up and there he was, solid and unmistakable Loch-ti. But he didn't know if he was Loch-ti who had dreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly…

"The uploader has not made this video available in your country." :)

"What? No!  Not fuckin' @avclub-53b1be7039a967f8252c97614ac89c63:disqus !"

I would not be just a nuffin'
With a gut like turkey stuffin'
Instead of rock-hard beefy slabs
I would swim and dooble-cate
And all the girls'd reciprocate
If I only had some abs

Doctors are calling it a "butterfly-stroke", because it really affected the butterfly that lives in his head.

><(({^>

@Scrawler2:disqus FLAGGED! (for so many reasons)

@Scrawler2:disqus When HDB offers you a "tip" NEVER ACCEPT IT!

@Dikachu:disqus I just hope that C is for circumsised…that's good enough for me.

Well, mine's just gotten bigger.  Now I've got an erection AND I've discovered I have a sick self-mutilation fetish!  Thanks a lot, HDB!

That's what you think!  I'll just think about cookies.  Delicious oatmeal cookies with raisins and big floppy yellow nose-penises…  GOD DAMN IT!

This magnificent penis has a suspicious bulge that people keep referring to as "Jon Hamm" for some reason…

@avclub-e38d7d01bb3addc2e58724fe04de73e8:disqus  To hell with your lunchbox! I'm young, rich, and full of sugar and cocaine!  I'm about to go crazy Broadway-style!

@avclub-75e43c12ef9f1cfdaeae92ca6fa90640:disqus A terrible pun not immediately getting a ton of likes!  This is an outrage!