That's cool.  He is one of the "5 Second Films" guys too, correct?

"This cocksucker dragged me down here, I dunno…"
"Just eat the fuckin' thing."
"Fuck you, asshole. [takes bite] Fuuuuuck, this little motherfucker's tasty."
"Told your fuckin' ass." [impishly grins at camera]

Blow me three times, baby,
Blow me thrice today…

"Goddammit!  Shit! about your cancer, too."

Ironically, the co-worker interpreted HDB's hand gesture as a "jerking-off" motion, and reported him for lewd conduct anyways.

It was for charity!

Timothy Van Patten, however…

"So Dickie's got this hot little whore on his arm and is all set to finally head upstairs.  He leans in to me and whispers, 'Bobby, this chick wants ten bucks for a half-and-half, and all I got on me is a fiver and three singles.' 'Don't worry, Dickie,' I shot back, 'eight is enough.'"

Best Robert Evans-related stories?

Poltergeist IV: BOO!-kkake

Quaker Oats - There's a little Quaker in every box.

Secret secret, he's got a secret… [he's robosexual].

*squirrel playing saxophone sheds single tear*

Jesus could give a hell of a handjob, with the stigmata and all.

@avclub-3be42d8a3412057f79af152555e39bd4:disqus , this is my absolute favourite painting of Jesus, Ivan Kramskoy's Christ in the Wilderness, depicting him just before the temptation.  SO fucking sexy:

"Forgive them, Father!"

*Flashes peace sign to @avclub-58238e9ae2dd305d79c2ebc8c1883422:disqus , then suddenly pokes him in the eyes with it.*

Walt Disney's not dead, he's frozen!  And as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Diz, and he's going to be pretty pissed off.  You want to know why?  Have you ever taken a cold shower?  Well multiply that by fifteen billion times, that's how pissed off the Diz is gonna be.  I'm gonna get the…

*twirls moustache, does Mickey Mouse laugh*