If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in
there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take
it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.

It was, indeed sir, but some sumbitch already procured the username "Senator Tankerbell." So here we is.

TRY TRY TRY AGAIN

TAKE IT FROM ME, I LOVE YOU

FOR DUTY AND HUMANITY!!!

20 year old "Dennis Miller Live" punchline: "Napoleon blew my Bonaparte."

Here's what you do, Sean, you just take a tape recorder around with you all day. I bet you'll be surprised at the phrasing of some of your headlines.

*hears an explosion in the distance* "Goddamnit, it's always right when you sit down!"

GOT DAT PANDEMIC! PANDEMIC HERE!!!

“Shit, where’d that cunt of a bean go?”

I read that in the voice of Mr. Krabs. Thank you.

"Man, I wanna fuck Reese Witherspoon so bad!!!" -No one, ever.

HEROES IN A HALF SHELL! TURTLE CANCER!

"What's next, Ping Pong? 'They're gonna steal the paddles!'"

NOW I HAVE A FACTCHECKER
HO HO HO

Is anybody else reading the title of the movie in the voice of Cake Boss? (CAKE BOSS)

Because of this movie, I will, at least once a day, call someone a "fiend."

I shit today and it didn't hurt.

Agreed.

Michael Bay knows that the kids love TMNT, but bring in Megan Fox and you've got something for Daddy.