Be careful Mr. Buress, Coors Light is RAPE JUICE

For a few years I lived next to a nice guy who did estate sales for a living. He then resold the goods to fancy antique stores in Gloucester and Newburyport. Nobody, he told me, wanted old books, so every Sunday they went out in his trash. I probably picked 500 pre-word war I books in that time, and read most of them.…

I hope you were unhurt.

all the really good porn happens in a library

fanny flagged

Didja ever listen to Nightvale? (shudders)

wait a minute, preventing misery and death might lower our insurance premiums? I'll have to think about it.

For those of us interested parties tuning in late, can you tell us the details of this mostly deleted repartee?

Um hmmm. And where was Shaka when the walls fell?

Bellona?

The V.P. of Marketing's parking space is now yours.

The Armchair of Areolas

Fassbender brings the valaryian steel.

Crotch?

If the Patriots fail to achieve victory, you will have a sour taste in your mouth? I usually just wager cash myself.

You have "executive" written all over you.

Campbell also makes Chunky Milk, which I will never try again.

you can have the sleeves right now

Detachable Pianist

Which is lucky, because people who use it are self-identifying jerks. They are usually 2 beers away from using the n-word.