It's like, what if that we're the FONZ up there instead of Spiderman? MJ would be all like "Oh! Rescue me!" And the Fonz would be like "Not now, dame, I got some groovy juke box dancing to do!" And then he'd run the comb through his hair and give himself the thumbs up in the mirror! Or what if instead of Spiderman…

I just want you AV Staff members to know that I was just kidding! I seriously love you guys, and any time you want to extend an offer for a regular column to me or Funny Man or any of my many successful gimmick characters, I will be happy to take it under consideration!

Good king Nathan Rabin Looked down
on a sea of film flops
"Put them in a book" said he
"And I'll sell them in all the shops"
Though his wit was bright that night
the entries were uneven
Not everyone has the brilliance of
writer Steven Hy—den.

Yeah! I KNEW the AV Club commenters could pull out some awesome PARODY CAROLS!

Let's see, how about

Video? More like VIDEONT! Seriously, if I wanted to see what these people looked like I would have DROPPED BY FOR A HOLIDAY MEAL! Seriously, these guys are so weird looking that everytime they smile, a FAIRY DIES! Everytime Zodiac Motherfucker drops in he's like "WHY AM I THE ONE IN THE MASK BITCHES?" When they…

FUNNY MAN
Hey, it's DAY TWO OF THE FUNNY MAN HOLIDAY SPECIAL!!!! Who's up for some PARODY CHRISTMAS CAROLS?

Hey, WHAT if instead of C3PO, the Star Wars Christmas Special had starred HAL 9000 as the lovable robot sidekick ?

WHOA THIS CHRISTMAS PARTY JUST GOT OUT OF HAND
It's Special Guest Star PEE WEE HERMAN hanging out by the Egg Nog!

WOW some really great suggestions! I oughta hire you guys but then I'd have to actually be making some money at this gig! Haha! I kid, I kid, I'm doing fine, making enough that I can finally "pay attention"! No really, I'm so poor that when I go to McDonalds I have to put a milkshake on layaway! I'm so poor that…

Oh wow, what if TOMMY WISEAU and the ERASER HEAD BABY were at a Christmas party together? Wiseau would be all like "OH HAI ERASER HEAD BABY" and the baby would be like "SCREAAAAAAAAWWWWWWS SCRWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHSCREAAAAAAAAWWWWWWSSCRWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHSCREAAAAAAAAWWWWWWS SCRWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
And then Tommy…

Hey READERS!
As you all know, this week is the FUNNY MAN HOLIDAY SPECIAL! And this thread is your chance to GET IN ON THE ACTION! I'm going to be having some VERY SPECIAL GUESTS as part of the week long special, and I want YOU to tell me who they are! So go ahead, go CRAZY and throw out any name that you'd like…

"Society for Cutting Up Men"? I should be in that club! I've been a CUT-UP for a long time now! And what if Andy Warhol were in the army? "What's up with all the soup cans soldier?" "I'm not asking OR telling!" Sorry to get political with this one, but sometimes humor deals with important issues!

Oh man! What if Santa had a BLOG? He would be all like "December 20th- 2:45pm HO HO HO. December 23rd- 8:15pm Do these pants make me look fat? December 25th- 10:00pm- I hate doing this shit every year" And imagine if the FONZ had a blog? "March 3rd 8:00 AM- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!"

Okay, that's better right! a little more energy, a little more FUNNYNESS !!!
OKAY, so who here likes Santa Claus? What if Santa Claus got bitten by the same bug that the Incredible Hulk did? Christmas would be like
SANTA HULK SMASH CHIMNEY!!!

If you like JOKES
and HOLIDAYS TOO
than FUNNY MAN's
GOT THE STUFF FOR YOU
Gonna tickle, your FUNNY BONE
and make you LAUGH till you go HOME!

HAVE YOURSELF A FUNNY LITTLE CHRISTMAS
WITH FUNNY MAN
AND HIS FUNNY PLANS
FOR HIS FUNNY FANS
PUT THEIR FUNNY HANDS
TOGETTTTTHER FOR FUUUUUUNNNNNY MANNNNNNN

Thanks everyone, thank you thank you, I got good news! Holidays are coming up and YES there's going to be a FUNNY MAN Christmas Spectacular NEXT WEEK in the AV CLUB COMMENTS so go ahead and mark your calendar

Hey there FOLKS

Can you imagine ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER in line at the Starbucks?