ME NO LIKE CHOKE ON ZOMBIES

HIM SAY BOSTON MACAROON BOMBING??? DAT REAL TRAGEDY

ME FEEL PRETTY OKAY WITH THIS, THERE LOTS OF ROOM FOR EXTRA MONSTERS AS LONG AS THERE IS COOOOOOOKIES!!!

ME ALSO ALSO LOVE COOKIES

YOU JUST JEALOUS THAT COOKIE MONSTER SUCH GOOD GIMMICK AND YOU NOT THINK OF IT THIRD

posting as "ALSO ANOTHER COOKIE MONSTER"

Shit. I forgot I changed gimmicks. It's been a while.

OH HAI HUSSERL

Hey! Fuck you! I came up with this gimmick!

Thanks, Fast and Sloppy! I'm really excited about this gimmick and I think it may be the best one yet! At first, I thought that it would pale in comparison to FUNNY MAN because FUNNY MAN can do all kinds of impressions, but with this one I'm kind of stuck doing just the one, but maybe less is more? I don't know.

Towelie is a towel. If you have difficulty parsing that statement, then you will have difficulty understanding Towelie's gimmick. There's not much more to it than that.

Run and tell that
Antoine Dodson can't sing, I'm afraid. But neither can Chris Brown, Britney Spears or T-Pain. Like them, Dodson's atonal outbursts have been run through an autotuner and turned into a sort of music which has received a sort of acclaim. Unlike the others, however, I can imagine myself spending an…

Hey, FAS, I appreciate your criticism, and I told you so, but I'm trying to get a spectrum of reactions here.

Ah, good catch, J Serious. I just get excited sometimes and mistype, I guess!

I think that's a fair point, RE, BUT gimmickry is unquestionably an important and prominent part of the AV Club commenting culture, and it isn't going away any time soon. Just look at the number of gimmick accounts that populate any given article's comment section!

Hey You, it's called "syntax". Look into it.

I know I shouldn't get mad about this again, but for christ's sake why don't you register and actually stand behind what you say? I mean, I guess I already know the answer— you're some 13 year old in your mother's basement and you're not supposed to be using the internet. So fine, we'll leave it at that, and maybe…

You guys are fucking useless. How am I supposed to become a better commenter without your help? "You suck" doesn't count as criticism, it's just an insult. It's your fault that these boards continue to suck.

Now see, that's what I'm talking about— Fastandsloppy obviously didn't enjoy FUNNY MAN, but he has the intelligence and integrity to articulate WHAT he didn't like about it. Thank F&S, I will learn from your critique and become a better gimmick commenter.

Yeah, that could be funny, but the scope of any of these bits is really limited by the medium of the comment board. There's only so much I can convey in comment form, in other words. I actually ran into this problem with FUNNY MAN several times and found it very frustrating. But still, thanks for the suggestion!