He is looking at us with mild condescension. He knows we don't understand the nuanced grace of the chubby statue, and he is judging us all.

I am kind of ashamed of myself that I can't imagine this guy NOT talking in broken Yakov Smirnov English.

My father was jailed by the KGB for pro-democracy performance art
and I give Boner Academy one thumb down.

I love legitimate thee-a-ter
You finally made a monkey

One of the best Deniro performances. And Harvey Keitel insulting Jeneane Garafollo for being a fake lady cop was pretty good too.

Given the popularity of the X factor overseas and the fact that the US's most popular reality shows originated in Holland or Norway, I am really interested to see what country the first reality show that features contestants getting killed winds up coming from. You'd think it would be Amurica, but maybe not.

How will America mercylessly mock the horrible first round contestants if we can't see what they look like?

From what I hear from NPR's Diane Riem, it is only a matter of months before The Facebook starts dispatching Blackwater operatives to our front doors to offer us items for sale based on our web surfing. A.V. Club pop up ads will seem quaint in comparison.

Why must you make light of Narnia's box office dominance?
This website obviously doesn't like Jesus. I will take my internet dollars elsewhere, thank you very much.

Finally, a directive to wear the unisuit. And from a computer message no less. The future is now.

Comedy Central is so proactive and in my face. Like a kung fu hippy from gangster city, or something.

He was in Jungle Fever, a film by Spike Lee
Does anyone have any prison rape jokes to go with that? I'm out of ideas.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go lift weights. What?

Like to eat it/Like to suck it/take a shit/in a bucket

The lady clearly is thinking "This dumb bastard really thinks I am frightened by a thunder strom. I am going to use him for everything he is worth, beginning with this piece of shit jewlery he bought me."

Well, I for one really enjoy being informed about subjects by a radio show that has gone out of its way to find people with the least pleasant radio voices they possibly can. Thanks for the tip, no need to watch this A&E program.

In the fall time I just get a regular coffee and ask them to put in pumkin spice syrup. Then I just put in a lot of milk and stir it up. It's so good I don't even mind that much the scathing looks of derision from the other customers in line behind me.

Here Comes the Metric System

Is there a response bouquet to the "I think you are such a super lady and I love you" that could communicate to the sender "I would never let you have sex with me even if you bought me 100 tennis bracelets from Jared?"

I hear that during halftime, the municipal sewer system personel have to man their high alert stations because of all the toilets flushing.