While reading the book, I always pictured:

@B Town: and that's why JK Rowling is a freaking kasquillionaire.

They are doing an Amelia Bedelia movie. Jennifer Garner is being rumored for the title role, and they've given it a summer 2013 release date.

As a parent of a 5th-grade girl, I saw the trailer (before Kung Fu Panda 2), turned to said 5th-grader and uttered one word: "No."

Since it's based on the events leading up to WWI in Europe, of course it does.

Indonesia, not Papua New Guinea. Indonesia is the worst bottleneck on the board.

Still working on my Stratego script …

Okay … dude, you need to get out of the house.

Okay, who's job was it to adjust Dowd's medication THIS week?

Oh sure, John - you're just enabling them!

How about Annie Potts naked? She's still got it.

He's earned it. It's like Jodie Foster scoring that second Oscar for Silence of the Lambs.

My body? Four words: Patton Oswalt, only taller.

Maybe it was originally "fercacking," so you needed four asterisks for the e-r-c-a. Just a theory.

Gopher bark-y, not hickory.

I think he was shooting for iambic pentameter. He missed, but still.

Just to mess with my wife, I typed in her favorite actress, Sandra Bullock. She has been in an unconscionable amount of crap. (I guess that's what happens when almost your entire career is "scripts Julia Roberts passed on.")

I wouldn't say she has a fantastic body. She has an odd body. Her face is triangular (point down), she has deep-set eyes and uses eyeliner to make them look even deeper. Although she's only 5-2, she has a surprisingly long neck. Wide shoulders, boobs that are set way too high and looks like they were borrowed from…

This works perfectly, since Eminem's face would look better with a fist buried in it.

It's got Keira Knightley. That's all I require.