Ozzie Canseco.

It was Ben Affleck, in other words.

You know what? I don't care. Jennifer Garner is in it, I'm there. Fuck you all.

I was one of only two people I knew in the conservative overgrown farm town I lived in as a teenager who liked Kate Bush. And the other one was a gay guy. The girl I lost my cherry to was into (not kidding) the "Grease" soundtrack — and this was 1987.

Back in 1989, when I worked at a radio station …
… I had a co-worker who had a total and unalterable crush on Kate, and basically melted into a puddle whenever any track from The Sensual World came on. It was endearing, in a pitiful sort of way.

"May"?!?

Sorry to hear you're that desperate.

Eh, she's passably attractive, but no talent whatsoever. Kind of like Snooki, only not ugly.

Well, he wrote a book about doing roasts. And he's been on a lot of podcasts, talking about doing roasts and about his book …

He was there just to piss you off. Only reason any of us are here.

No Maryann Thorpe from "Cybill"?!?
Very disappointing, AVClub. Next time, have a few first, 'kay?

Malin Akerman? With alopecia?
Okay, I'm in.

MPDGs don't complain about their guys' lack of horizontal stamina. As a rule.

Dick is, admittedly, an acquired taste.

Palin likes dick very much … oh, wait, did you mean Philip K. Dick? Never mind — she would be able to follow his stuff.

Oh, no — she has plenty of very lovely points.

He just made himself look like a (philip k.) dick.

And the vampire gets the girl in the final scene. So yeah, sucks to be you.

I believe his role would be "cannon fodder."

Demented and sad, but social.