Godspeed You! Cookie Monster!

the Fog scared me so badly as a kid that i was afraid to go into the bathroom after someone had showered, as i was sure there were dead pirates in there. turns out i was right, but not because of the leftover steam; my dad just liked to murder sailors and bury them under our bathroom.

why don't you just give them a teaspoon of my earwax?

fucking in cars is much more a trailer park boys kinda thing. at least a Ricky and Lucy kinda thing. the Brody and Claire thing was just kinda icky.

i'm opposed to all the race-mixing. i'm Damn Damn Damn opposed!

Deanna Troi AND Daisy Duke? i did not think anyone else had an empath/white trash fetish but me. he's one ballin tromboner.

KISS ARMY!

but the memory will live on every fourth of july, when i will continue to make my Flavor Flav Rock Roasted Ribs, slow cooked for 24 hours in crack smoke, just like Flav. with some good potatis salad.

a group of lovable but naive teens attempt to score meth before gay Hong Kong prom. the writing includes many soon-to-be-classic pratfalls involve everything from glass pipes becoming stuck in a boy's bum, to other items becoming stuck in other boy's bums. Total To, bro. in fact, he wanted to name it 'Amelican Pie',…

*stands up, turns back on ring*

i love that training scene where he's speed-bagging them titties.

notice how every chapter of gary zukav's Dancing Wu Li Masters is chapter one…JCVD movies are much the same…his use of the "dim mak" as a metaphor for Bell's Theorem was very elegant i thought.

those weren't minorities, they were stereotypes. and jean-claude smashed them good, meaning he was really a sort of civil rights activist like jesse jackson. i've never disrespected a skinny black bug-eyed coconut-chopping monkey-man of uncertain origins ever since my father took me to see this film.

i'm not sure if it is a EUPHEMISM, per se, but what it means is that f. durst accidentally ate a whole skein of black yarn, because he was hungry, bitch. l'il wayne represents the bowel movement he then makes in the potty. in the un-cut-biz-kit version you see f. derpst drag his ass around on a shag rug before l'il…

i only wish Wesley Willis were still alive to write a song about this band. since he is not, this is my tribute to him:

i like that name. it's the kind of thing i would run around in circles screaming, as a kid i mean.

yes. it is perfect pudding-fight music.

gooble gobble gooble gobble one of us, one of us.

their tour bus must smell like so many falafel crumbs and wet cigarette butts. or are those the names of the two different camps of people who follow them around? seems like i ran into a guy at the eldorado springs pool saying he was a falafel crumb, and he was going to see Eddy Sharpe And The New Mags that night at…

which, on the monosyllabic scale, converts to a range of 'tsk' to 'meh'.