i shall be promenading around the squid-port, courting the lovely Edna K.

bring me wisdom St. Kenny. bring me light.

that coca cola commercial with the MAX HEADROOM rap. few people know that he impregnated Elvira, who then begat Vanilla Ice. or defecated. probably she defecated him.

nice choice. next do naked lunch, and then do improv mash-ups of Gun Lunch, please.

i would memorize the hell out of Heather Graham's numerous nooks and crannies…if it's for the wee bairnes, that is.

oh, springtime in texas. you can always tell it's time for SXSW by the density of dead armadillers on the side of the highway between Lubbock and Amarillo. although the climate's been CHANGING. and now you see almost as many ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS as you do armadillers down in the bar ditch and all tangled in the barbed…

'elway's bastard retards' is more elegant. and more punk.

i am from colorado and my band is named Alex English. for some reason he is not at all upset with us.

they are not named after colorado's greatest sports figure they are named after colorado's greatest auto dealer. DO SOME RESEARCH.

let's take it down to the key of D. on the one. key of D on the ONE. you mess that shit up Maceo i'm gonna fine you, and imma give your money to Fred after he opens up that trombone of his in your BUTT. make you go WHAYYYYYYY! whas that in my butt? that's Fred Muthafuckin Wesley's trombone up in there. now PAY…

Lou Donaldson. gawdam Alligator Bugaloo's what i'm talking about. And Lou Dobbs. he always gives sound financial advice in an accessible manner. shit, Barlow's slipping.

cherry fucking squishy please; ALL SYRUP.

2nd coolest Lou. which is pretty damn respectable.

1st place: Small Wonder.

is Beck clear? i don't think so. he seems to have a bunch of thetons stuck up his ass.

their marketing department is working on the "Scott Wieland Breakdown Kit" as we speak.

that mag cover of her splattering a hotdog with mustard is forever burned into my retinal tissue. that look on her face, the copious amount of thick yellow ejaculate, those thighs…christ i need a drink.

is he related to Bobby Peru? 'cause he jump all around that hole…Bobby Peru don't come up for air….

they wear a surprising amount of caribou fat on their faces to keep from getting windburned. but they love to huff gas.

this is just a recording of various models of microwaves finishing their cooking cycles. the Philips 400 is a particularly melodious model. it goes boop boop boooooooooooop. BEEP! mesmerizing.