the mayo clinic is worse than dr. house. no matter what the prognosis is, the prescribed treatment is always the same; '50 cc's of mayo! Stat!' fuck that place.

i would pay $20 for a quarter gram of that liver.

dag. how will i tell my parents? dad ran off with the girl at the dry cleaners so that's not an issue but mom will be mortified because she is a european mexican. meaning Italian. those hands are going to be flying all over the gawdam place while she screams about 'oh the wine! the wine they make tastes like a dirty…

Bob Pollard and Old Man Merritt, out at the pond again, feeding the ducks and swapping meds in the autumn of their years. they will still rock. i can feel it in my bones. rains a comin, along with another mess of GBV albums…

1. swallow towel
2. eat box of laxatives
3. await towel movement

take a bite of peach.

i am officially coming out of the closet as a homme-sexual.

big fat gays have those too. i h ave seen them do vogue dali poses with crutches supporting their distended teats. that was at my bar mitzvah, actually.

ah, apparently i was confusing it with the traditional child's tale of "Morganna's Double Mastectomy Eats Pawtucket". i guess i owe mr. king an apology. sorry pal, you're still alright, except that you played guitar in a band with amy tan, so, on the other hand; Fuck You.

king let me down with Tommyknockers. that should have been about giant marauding, cephalapod-like breasts creeping around in the dead of night..

i could sure use her head to clean my chimney.

derogatory.

Here are some words that rhyme with Corey: statutory, defamatory, montessori…

it is better to go to peru and become a cocaine genius on the cheap. because then you can still DO EVERYTHING. ceviche and cuy and macchu pitchku materinu.

but don't you barf velvet worms?

dag.

is this the same guy who wanted to breakfast on the haunches of that smashed bunny in Jesus' Son?

jump, magic; Jump.
dance, magic; Dance.
i seem to have a horseshoe crab in my pants.

Glen Close needs work. Grumpy Cat will bang her in the sink prior to her boiling his rabbit toy. she will grow fat with his litter of kittens.

shit. i was hoping that a trashbag full of sheen's innards had been cast in the half-man role. i guess warlock guts don't cut the mustard there in tinsel town.