DENTAL KORAN.

Projectionist: "Come to my theater in the evening. We will do everything business-like."
Unexpected Dave: "[eagerly] We will be there at 6!"
Projectionist: "I will be there at 10."

Aw, I think you folks have great taste. Shocking manners and indifferent hygiene, sure, but exceptionally good taste.

Homer-avatars-facing-each-other-while-discussing synergy upvote.

He lives with his Virgin[ia] mother? That *is* heavy-handed.

I will happily replace "pink elephant" with "try not to think of a pregnant woman miming a jerk-off with her expanded belly as the wang" as needed.

Any tips for getting stains out of muppet felt? Asking for a friend.

Ugh. Not the old pun thread bromide.

Vee verr saying "fahren", Du Erregbarunverstandenengenialkopf!

Can't talk — typing another delicious AV Club Comment.
[licks keyboard]
Mmmmmm… comment.

Not a ghost of a chance.

Upvoted for pre-emptive downvote. (Flagged for threatening violence against Whovian.)

I'm attending a tech conference this month where James Franco will be the keynote speaker. That makes as little sense to me as Snoop Dogg offering brand advice at SXSW.

He cashes them, but first he writes "Mucus" in the Memo line.

Shake It Off is a musical cronut. I heard everyone talking about how awesome it was, I finally ate/listened to it, and then I understood how delicious/catchy it was. But then I had a couple of them every day for a week, and burned out so bad that I haven't had interest in tasting/hearing it for months.

Or he just wanted to pair a new movie about a pitcher with the previous one about a catcher.

Rick was more of a wounded romantic; tough exterior but willing to do the right thing. Marlowe was an effortless ladies' man and a bit too mercenary. I think I'm going with Rick.

Nut'n, honey — and I mean nut'n — beats a good pun thread.

First the llamas escape, and then a week later, this news? Connect the dots, people.

When The Praise Starts With "Admittedly", It Undermines The Whole Premise, Internet!