Yeah, Ryan's usually right, but he's always an asshole about it.  Yes, he was eventually going to throw his yogurt-lid-medal away, but what the hell was stopping him from going home with it and then throwing it away? He's also right that he and Kelly probably shouldn't go out, but he goes out of his way to be a…

Wait, seriously?  I wonder if these were originally supposed to be aired in a different order- it definitely seems like the sort of story that would happen right after Jim's confession.  Ah well.

"He'll never act again.  Also there are no bonuses."
"What does that have to do with our bonuses?"
"They are unrelated."

TV Club- Other Shows- My Tugger, Paid For by the AV Club Readership- "Pilot"

"I like the feeling of knowing you did a good job because somebody gives you proof of it.  'Sir, you're awesome.  Here's a plaque.  What? a whole year has gone by, and you need more proof?  Here's a certificate.'  They stopped making plaques that year."

Especially great is the way that the podium pounding evolves from a weird tic into a form of punctuation that gives all his lines more emphasis.  It's like watching someone noodle around on a guitar, and hearing their improvisations gradually, inexorably morph into a 12-bar blues riff.

What are you looking over there for?  No one's gonna come through there and help you. Jesus could walk through that door right now, wouldn't help you none if you keep grading the episodes like that.

He's just so happy to finally have a family plan.

Michael's background is one of the main nightmares we all have: wanting something so bad that we end up never having a chance at it.  I find Dwight's social tone-deafness a little more relatable (on one field trip in middle school that is particularly painful to recall, I WAS Dwight in the football cold open to…

The Office's facility with "Noodle Incident" humor has always been pretty great.  Notice how they leave Michael's 1996 and 1997 speeches almost entirely up to the reader's imagination, where they're sure to be more horrifyingly unfunny than anything the writers could have come up with.

*thump thump thump*

I was gonna say, Rogen actually created a stand-up act and worked on it over several performances for Funny People, so if anyone should be able to generate their own material, it would be him.

@avclub-912a96819c9a3f09a4217e7dbb4d3e74:disqus I agree that it's being way too generous to Sandler, but on the other hand, I keep thinking about the years that my friends and I spent saying "Alligators is ornery 'cause of their medulla oblongata!" and then cracking up even though we all knew it was the stupidest…

Shitter's full.

I dunno about O'Neal.  Something with that much fat on it's gonna stay tender for quite some time, provided you've stored it correctly.

That was by far the best part of the Donald Trump roast, which is probably part of the reason why everyone is so happy this wasn't anything like the Donald Trump roast.

*question mark thought-bubble appears above Sims' heads.  Then they all try to take a shower at the same time, but end up taking turns at kicking each other out of the bathroom for the next six hours*

Considering it was basically the same bit Norm MacDonald did at the Bob Saget roast, at least one person from your generation seems to get it.

I remember one of Marc Maron's jokes on the Chevy Chase roast:  "Chevy, you were just complaining about how you're being roasted by a bunch of nobodies.  Well, at least I'm a nobody at the beginning of my career."  Good stuff, and remarkably well-delivered for a standup who seems to think that delivery is something…

Yep.  Feel free to start using styrofoam again- FDR's got your back.