4 beers?  I have 4 pints with my Eggos in the morn.

Pathetic little loser, no one's bloody laughing.

I don't get it.  Can someone that's sober explain this to me?

No, you're thinking of the "Garfield" movies, with Bill Murray.

She sounds like a thoughtless little pig, if you ask me…  Oh sorry, that's Alec Baldwin's daughter.

With this recent uptick in his popularity, no telling how much he's gonna charge for moustache rides..  

A "scene-stealing" 132-pound scrotum?

I don't know what I expected. 

Declan, we hardly knew ye.  

That explains the frequent Popeye impersonations. 

Holly trained at the Strasberg Institute, where they teach their students to shit their pants on command. 

You don't murder family.  That's a rule!

Odds are he's probably enjoying some "Cocoa Puffs" at his homie's pad.

Cancer's nothing.  Its the neurotic, fidgety woman in heels that's gonna take down Heisenberg.

Fargo inspired me to be funny looking. 

Go and get the guitar.

Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.

Can you recommend a movie for a person of average intelligence?  And a drunk? 

Where is Bo's handler, Mr. Joseph Biden?  I demand a full Senate investigation into this matter!

"Where's the god damned clicker?!"