[Years pass]

Damn, Billy Everyteen. Savage.

It's the hip new way of pointing out insincerity

Old MST3k? Ohhhh yes. New MST? Probably not. The sets are cheaper looking (and not in the charming, homemade way the originals were), Jonah Ray is a drip, and the jokes come three times as fast while being almost startling unfunny.

I wish people would stop triggering that poor man so he can get back to wailing at two greased up lummoxes trying to strangle each other in an empty adult-sized ball pit

Hey, wait, I think I can get in on this analysis action.

As Herman Munster once so memorably told a young nation, "Sometimes, dead is better."

Oh, no…that's okay, Netflix. You don't have to.

The kid *is* the horror stuff. The rest is just a dapper guy in a hat.

Beldar Conehead takes some time away from clearing brush down on Conehead Ranch to catch Rogue One

God, we're all so clever

Beric's kind of a paladin

But what if Spence *doesn't* bring a team to Vegas? What will become of Rob Cordry and…the rest?

And so you were

Agreed.

Perhaps he has a room in John Leguizamo's House of Buggin'

He's the wokest man to ever repeatedly fuck over his colleagues.

Man, if there's one place Sandor Clegane would never eat, it's definitely The Hearth & The Hound

No, no…Have you seen Cathy Moriarty lately? She looks like a golem filled with epsom salts and Marboro Reds.

I know. And now Bostonian douchebags have ruined it for the rest of us. (And by "now" I mean "a century and a half ago.")