Bu-but, I was just making a point! OH MY GOD I'VE BECOME WHAT I BEHELD.

This one, so far, is my favorite

Oh my god yes. Like the mere act of placing a fucking egg or whathaveyou on a burger suddenly makes you a risk-taking culinary bravo. You made a goddamn patty out of cow meat, and put some stuff on it. But you made your aioli, so I guess it's worth $15.

Not when there's a no-waiting Kuma's Too right off the fucking Red Line, just ready to absorb your needlessly baroque burger dollars

Are you sitting down, Jilly? It was in an Applebee's.

Hahahaha, there it is. That's the reason.

I like that Scooter crosses his arms under his tie, like a fucking boss.

I agree. What Quinn Mallory and Professor Arturo did was more akin to slipping between dimensions.

Six years in Chicago has made me never want to eat another burger again. We are squarely up our own asses with this gourmet burger shit. Don't get me wrong — they're delicious. But they're not a religion. They're fucking burgers.

I played that track when I proposed to my wife!

"(her chargrilled burger arguably propelled the gourmet burger movement of the last decade)."

Fuck you. Also, defense.

When does De Niro "belt Sinatra" in Midnight Run? Unless you're thinking of Mad Dog and Glory…you'd still be wrong, but you'd ballpark it on the "sings songs by an Italian singer" front

I think Deadpool works because, despite the fact that he's a good looking dude, you never see his actual, actually punchable face. Between the mask and the gazpacho prosthetics they glue to him in the Wade scenes, you never get a chance to see him look smug

Also Laureline is kind of a petulant robot. Oh! And Valerian is a toddler that got stuck in a taffy puller and is now vaguely man-shaped, but still has a thin grasp on the language

Oh, Billy….

Zero percent chance that suit doesn't smell like old feta cheese.

Steve Bannon looks like the kind of guy who tries to buy fortified wine with postage stamps, "…because it's legal tender, goddamn it. What, this isn't America?"

Except for the fact that at this point, Robert Redford looks like a disreputable knock-off waxwork of Marlene Dietrich.

Probably on the grounds that China has been propping up North Korea but has expressed amusingly little interest in getting it under control. It's not a great reason, granted, but it would be an internationally palatable one