He mumbled something about "bad pussy" and flew to Spain

Only once, but that's because an undead Oliver Hardy pushed him back up the stairs on Air Force One with a comically oversized push broom

Now, now, now, you know it's not Peak Japan until John Landgraf tells you it's okay to call it Peak Japan

I initially read this as "Kid Rock Starts Podcast All About Elliot Smith" and was going to be be really surprised. For the record, I maintain that would be the more entertaining podcast.

Or, as it was called during my youth, "catechism"

Oh god, "kewl." The squirmiest intentional misspelling

Damn.

Season 8 — "FINE, FUCK ALL OF YOU. I'M MOVING TO PHOENIX."

[Charles Nelson Reily suggestively waggles his oversized glasses and fans himself with a cue card]

Much like the original I.F.T., it's a thing no one ever wants to revisit

Well, as if I didn't have ample reason to dislike them before…

I'm just waiting for Nipsey Hustle's colab with Trilly Savalas and Jaye Z. Morgan

Never before has a sex tape and pair of novelty buttocks done so much for literacy.

Billy Stevenson is our generation's dumpy Brion James

The "Horatio Alger Story" became emblematic of America for a reason. Sure, it was largely treacly bullshit, but it could happen. And sometimes, it did.

Yuengling endorsed Trump? Ugh.

"All right, all right, all right…I'm done with this career renaissance nonsense. Back to EDtv and obscurity for me."

I'm torn. On one hand, Budweiser is watery garbage (and I'm not someone who's pants get tight at the mere mention of "craft beer" or IPAs). On the other hand…all the love it or leave it types love plastering American slogans around while they stand up against the grim tide of immigration…and one of their favorites…

But, oh, come on, it doesn't have an influence! It's just a silly, crude cartoon show! They take on both sides! They stand for reason!

Would that South Park could gently tousel his hair and giggle like a sprite