Robert Jordan didn't die. He reincarnated as Brandon Sanderson on the wheel of time. Nice try, Dark friend!

Robert Jordan didn't die. He reincarnated as Brandon Sanderson on the wheel of time. Nice try, Dark friend!

No. No. Staaay. We want you to staaaaay.

I wish, but I don't live near any of those awesome 19th century British nannies.

THEN I ACCEPT THE BARGAIN

THEN I ACCEPT THE BARGAIN

My final disqus question: My three year old nephew has recently turned into a complete asshole. He ignores every command I give him with a shit-eating grin, and happily goes about doing his own thing, despite being annoying. As an adult, hitting children is completely unacceptable, so I want to transform into a…

It can just fly him over, can't it?

No dice, Bill. I don't understand spiders, but I still squish the little fuckers.

heh, just realized the night's king has a way over the wall now. Way to go, Jon.

I can't believe Danni blew a 3-0 lead like that. Is she a breaker of chains or a golden state warrior?

Thanks again, Barry Allen!

Lighting strikes on a stormy night as Chris Kattan stares through the rain smeared glass, gnawing on a bloody knuckle whilst feverishly chanting "I will not be ignored, I will not be ignored…"

"Now tell me, son. Is it the franks…or is it the beans?"

Oh, come on, Mrs. Alger. What will these fellows do? Organize systemic strikes against minorities in the name of their racist ideology? In order for something like that to happen, you'd have to first believe that White racists are capable of mass murder—oh fuck.

Whittling Tiki torches.*

Genuinely spit my milk on that one, have all my likes.

This guy has something. You can see it in his speaking pattern, and those facial ticks. He's definitely on the spectrum, would not be surprised if it was Asperger's. It wouldn't be reciprocated, but I genuinely feel bad for him and I regret the life he's led that has turned him into this.

I really do miss Brittany Murphy. She was a gem. Why are the most talented people always such self-destructive hedonists?

"What's the pog made out of?"