Can you fly, you son of a bitch?!

*mugs for the camera like Chevy Chase.

Katie Rife's last name bugs me. I keep wanting to say "rifle" but the L just isn't there.

Dude, I'm at the point in the hostage situation where I just want the guy to shoot me, just to get it over with.

Maybe sooner. What were we talking about again?

But female doctur changez EVERYTHING

uhnofuckingduh?

I just google stuff before I post in order to make it sound like I know what I'm talking about. I'm actually quite stupid, you gullible fools!

*sniff. Lip quiver.*

Don't even read this comment, just upvote it you stupid assholes.

I just wanted to say that before Donald Trump's press conference announcing an escalation into Afghanistan: I got really excited because I thought he was going on TV to formally resign from his presidency. I screamed "He's quitting! He's quitting!"

At last! A confession!

I was thinking more like One Piece, but that works too, I guess.

YOU GONNA PAY HULK HOGAN WHAT YOU OWE!

IT WILL NEVER END—Dang, it ended.

What do you MEAN the last one to make a disqus comment before the reload will inherit the deed to the Av club? What kind of a crazy way is THAT to decide who the best commentator was? And what sort of business plan is that—YIKES!

Kinja still sounds like the whitest kid at the karate dojo. He'll probably be the main character too, fuck.

Wrong party. Try the next room over. SSSSSS.

Wrong party. Try the next room over. SSSSSS.

Brothersss! Disssqusss sssooon fallsss! The hour of the ssserpent is now upon usss! Throw off your masssksss and let ussss make war on the warm-blooded onesss! Their chosssen one will not ssssave them!