Kevin Sorbo is uh, an atheist Lumberjack. The angriest atheist lumberjack in the world. One day, this uh, younger teenage Lumberjack is like, "I don't cut trees on Wednesdays. That's for church." And Kevin Sorbo Lumberjack is like "You fucking fuck! Eat the parasitic worms in a dog's colon! Your church shit is…

Sorbo's voice has a pleasant tint to it when he's actively playing an evil person. I find it enjoyable to listen to (But then I have to contrast that with the fact it's Kevin Sorbo.)

I bet the labors of Hercules was just him telling his wife to shut up twelve times! Yeesh!

"Today on a special episode of Caillou: Caillou doesn't understand something, becomes immediately frustrated, and then whines angrily about it. His parents explain it to him while wearing eerily vacuous smiles, and no one dares suggest he learn different ways to cope with frustration."

I googled him. A popular youtuber who says that wealthy blacks commit more crimes than poor whites. See, I just thought I was going to hate him because of his stupid username, but the internet found a way to make it fun!

Now I have to know what a Jontron is, even though I'm sure the answer will enrage me.

And then Trump spites him by eating all the dick cheese there is. None for anyone else, all for him! That'll teach you, Offerman.

My three year old nephew is into P.J. Masks, Octonauts, and Caillou. The first two are kind of charming, but Caillou is the absolute worst. Ugh. Bald little monster.

Squirtle! Squirtle would cry. Because the Japanese eat seafood raw. So they wouldn't kill him first. It would turn into strange snuff theater dinner porn, and the world of pokemon would never be the same again…

Yarp. There was no way I was going to put up with constantly running out of weps, so I made the decision to go for the Master sword as soon as I could. Fuck all Guardians everywhere!

Crazy Willow was pretty bad, but I gotta say: Buffy season six had one of those episodes that really made my jaw drop. It was the one where the trio kidnapped Warren's ex-girlfriend Katrina and brainwashed her into becoming a servant. I was 19, I was watching it, I saw how attractive she looked in that french maid…

He's still alive, cute, and funny. Originals cameo guaranteed. No evil doer ever gets truly punished if they're good looking enough.

Julie Plec. The woman was a fangirl for her own product. If George R.R. Martin and Stephen King are known torturing their favorite characters for the sake of a story, then Plec is known for twisting a story to justify the behavior of her characters. 'Evil' is being mean to her lovlies. It also doesn't help that…

Prison worlds make NO SENSE. It's a magical construct, so why can't Kai just absorb it and free himself? VD had the dumbest magic system. No consistency at all.

I wrote this 22 days ago, and up until that last Monday, Alex was boring.

Complexity is not for your average viewer.

Wait. Am I to believe that a man who calls himself Gussie Fink-Nottle is some kind of….limey?

Oh, hair-de-hair-hair.

FUCK. I'm in the back half of the comment section?! How did this happen?? Who are you people? What's going on? WHAT is happening here? I WANT MY MOM! She's striking? NOOOOOOOO!

Okay, but what was the deal with the hooker and the rat? That was hard to read, Donnie JR.