Every time I read this post, I go blind!

Yeah, he was pretty salty that day, wasn't he?

Lobsters, oysters, shrimp, clams, crab. That's half the buffet right there!

I'm Jewish and even I don't understand the ban on seafood. It's delicious and so much healthier than land based eating. Does the creator not want us to have significantly lower cholesterol?

I'd say you've been doing it exactly right.

How do people read trainspotting? I can't get past that Scottish parsnippity glogash speak. I can barely understand the movie with subtitles up.

Because the wizards hid him so he wouldn't be found! Why are fucking mortals always defying the wizards?! Now we have to gather up an adventuring party to seal him away before he starts giggling and dragging small children into his red and white abattoir.

Bastard, making it creepy for the rest of us.

Thought I wasn't real, DIDN'T you, kiddies? Well now you know! And now you know I'm really going to EAT you! You'll be here with me, and I'll show you how to FLOAT! FLOAT AGAINST THE WIND! HaahahaahaHaHAAHAHAHAHAHA!—

Yer doin' god's work, Toasterlad.

This sunny day in my abode,
I'll spend it couched,
cranking out loads!

It's because they look like Cthulu tentacles. Real men have nothing to hide!

Getting an upgrade at the end of a Diablo Dungeon doesn't even compare, nerds!

The thing I always found bewildering was the Playboy Channel. My parents had a subscription for it way back when (for the articles I'm sure), and it was nothing like the magazine, which was filled with clever writing interspersed with all the nudie pics. I mean, this shit was hardcore porn, and outside of the…

That's the real issue though, isn't it? South Park's Jewish jokes are funny because they ultimately depict the guy telling them as an ignorant asshole. They're nuanced. But these surface layer mouth breathers don't get that, all they hear is "Heh heh, Jeeeeeews."

heh, savage.

I want to say that milk looks like cartoon sperm now,

Forced sterilization? You think these milk bros are getting laid?

Ralphie May is the worst. His voice is as welcome to me as a glass splinter in a toilet paper roll.

She's not funny. Give Sofía Niño de Rivera another special.