In my working class high school, music was divided on cultural lines. The Rap kids, the Metal heads, the alt rockers and the punks all hated each other, but we also all hated the boy bands, so it was a complex mire of anger, insecurity, and not wanting to look gay. I pretended to be one of those kids who liked all…

Man, I can kinda of tolerate all the self-indulgence if it's Deep Purple (child in time) or Pink Floyd, but Jesus Christ, if it's just thrash metal, get on with it.

Their true evolution came with St. Anger. "Saaaaaaaaint anger on my neck. He never gets respeeeeeeect." I was like, "Yes. YES. I get this!"

Fuck yeah! I bacame in its mouth!

I like new Metallica better than old Metallica. When I was a kid I had to pretend the reverse was true because I wanted to look cool in front of my scum-shit friends, but fuck. I can't stand fifteen minute guitar solos, and their old shit was nothing but fifteen minute guitar solos with some lyrics stapled on the…

In my dreams, Brody Dalle is 27 again, and spitting into my open mouth while singing one of her band's shitty songs whose title I've forgotten. Probably Sing-sing death house.

That's a weird way of writing "Neil Diamond."

Oh my god, this concert is like the cover of my trapper keeper! This shit is going to be so hard! Hard shit! Hard shit! Yeah!

When I was a kid, I could get three comics for a dollar, and a couple candy bars. Now, I have to steal all my comics from the internet, and steal all my candy from my niece. When did life get this sad?

Don't label me. I'm an original. I am. I really am! I must be!

I didn't find them that different compared to modern sensibilities. The Major is aloof, sure, but she's not driven by some haunting desire to reconnect with what she once was. She's not a 'driven female warrior with a checklist of things she gives no fucks about', but she's also not a humorless, deadpan zombie. …

Yes, there are robot tits, but uh, I uh, the casual nudity is supposed to make you question your objectification of the female form, since it's not true nudity, because that form is artificial. I mean, yeah, there's no practical reason for the boobs to be that large, especially on a combat model, but uh.

"They created me. But they cannot control me."

Helena is one of those songs I wish I had written and performed for my high school talent show.

Hey. Hey. Hey. What do emo kids use for birth control?

Cheer up, Emo Trump!

Flat screen? Sheeeeeet, that's a damn fancy tv!

Get out your NES, blow some dust out of the cartridge and get ready to play some Crash and Debois.

The shortest one I could find was was eight minutes-fifty seconds. I'm not going to lie: I reacted poorly to it. Whenever I'm spoken to in that tone of voice, it's usually by someone lecturing me. Now I feel all defensive, and angry in ways I can't properly articulate. Off to reddit!

Goddamnit, now I have to find a clip of her performance.