B-but mysteries of Laura…!

My TV dad was Optimus Prime, and he was a better father.

Right? The guy had no self-awareness.

Not gonna lie: Picard doesn't hold up. He's such an arrogant person. I can't even watch reruns on the BBC, because his patronizing speeches on ethics and duty get on my nerves. Q was the real hero.

At least until it's time for the most attractive female castmate's character to be held captive against her will by a surprisingly psychotic vulcan with fast texting skills.

So, Gloria Allred is suing the shit out of him? Is that the correct term? Suing the shit out of? Good hunting for her. Hope she bags a tiger with a combover and conspicuously tiny paws.

"What is this, the USFL?"

This machine gun punnery has frayed my poor nerves.

Oh, fuck the voiceless. They want something, they should speak up. Nyur-er-er.

Oh, this is going bo-bo-baney-ney!

I really want him to get punched in the throat. Not because of the charity virtue signaling, but because U2's doing a festival called Bonnaroo this year. "Bono in Bonnaroo." Oh, you fucking git.

You're no rock and roll fun!

I like Sleeter Keeney. This will be nice. But I wonder: As a contrarian, should I support the President in the name of punk rock? Everyone hates him, so wouldn't it be more rebellious (and therefore: cool) to be like, "Yuuuuuuuge."

ha ha ha! Pissy Chrissy is triggered.

ha! Robot Chicken did it first. More like: "Great Job at being unoriginal, Internet!"

…reluctant upvote.

I try not to dwell on the things that would make my child-self weep.

Not only that, but it was impossible to garrison the entire wall. It was like putting plastic wrap over an ant colony. "Ohhh, that'll stop 'em!"

Now shipping Bertholdt and Armin.

The fun part is that the great wall didn't work. At all. It prevented nothing. These Mongolians, man. They knew what they were doing.