It warms my heart (and my scrod) to think that Harris is in heaven getting a top-notch BJ from his eighth grade girlfriend. Also Hitler is watching, obviously.

Yeah, I'd love love love it if Broad City made it in somewhere but let's be honest, this changes nothing.

After Tom Cruise lands in the bathhouse, Travolta turns to his masseur and says "I love happy endings!"

Brilliant! Where do you come up with this stuff?

Really? Because I pitched my idea of a MacGynecologist series to NBC and they punted me out of the building.

It's MacGUYver, not MacGIRLver. Nor is it MacGYNECOLOGIST, a gynecologist who also happens to be a handy secret agent. What a dumb cover I HATE THIS IDEA

Even though it blatantly ripped off Hotel for Dogs, I really enjoyed The Grand Budapest Hotel.

*plays a few seconds of "Because I Got High"*

Wait, those movies were popular? Do you mean "poopular"?

"Don't nobody want you, don't nobody need you!" - Hollywood

"You're supposed to get me to like Phish! You've failed in your task, Harris!"

What usually cheered me up was the Analyze Phish clip of Harris playing "Fluffhead" to Scott and Scott is just not having it at all. Don't know when I'll be able to listen to that again.

Oh man that broke me.

"I want to open up a Jamaican, Irish, Spanish small plate breakfast Restaurant and call it Tapas the Morning to Jah."

No more Analyze Phish, no more Farts and Procreation, no more Foam Corner. Fuck. RIP Terrorist Wittels <3

Just when it seemed like he was getting help, too. Ugh this really stings.

This is not a horny sad, just a regular sad :(

Rest assured, my head is well-hung.

I literally just found out about this 5 minutes ago and I am a wreck, let me have this firstie goddammit.

Don't know if people have talked about this already, but Harris Wittels has died. No words.