Oh wow, my reading comprehension sucks. I totally thought it was the dude who was going smoking with the neighbor.

"[H]is Facebook (which I definitely looked up without permission and yes, I feel gross for doing so)"

Don't worry, a lot of these are kinda ho-hum.

EIT fills me with a nameless horror and desperation already.

Peppermint Patty is all over Tumblr.

It could have been worse: a flavor of the month pop tune.

Yeah, I don't think a movie studio nowadays has the balls to be quite as ruthless as The Peanuts. Everyone remembers the wacky hijinks of Snoopy and whatever, and they are completely fine for what they are, but few people seem to want to recall how mercilessly depressing the strip could be.

Are you going to be destroyed if she won't sleep/mess around with you? If the answer is yes, don't meet her, or if you meet her, meet somewhere public where nothing can happen.

It's the internet. First it killed the record store, then the book store. I guess it felt guilty that it was only killing things that appealed to straight people, so now it's killing gay bars.

Oh man, it's so good to know that there are actual, living women out there who don't want kids. Gives me hope that I may not die a lonely, abandoned husk of a man…

And there, on the handle of the car door, was… A BIG NEEDLE!

"as his head hits the dashboard, most of his front teeth are loudly knocked out."

So Basement Jaxx are "electro pioneers" now? AVClub's robust knowledge of electronic music shows once more.

Or you could learn to use condoms properly?

NO INCEST!

I don't think violence as an object of analysis is somehow overreaching in terms of the material. I'd say that violence and its effects, alongside political machinations and hereditariness, is what the whole series is mostly about. It's not like this is some attempt to make a deep analysis of the entire human…

I think their most egregious act is allowing their son to start a Twitter account.

Also almost any Tyler the Creator song.

Wow. Did you just more or less give the same advice that Dan did?

Umm, spoiler? I mean whatever, but I was at least being a little vague.