Ugh, Hooters would be a terrible Strip Club substitution. It in no way serves the same purpose.

There's a restaurant in Austin that will give you a free sample of fried pickles if you tell them it's your first time, and another that gave me a free slice of chocolate pecan pie because it was my first time. Sometimes it's a risk worth taking.

I will not fuck Timothy Olyphant!

Wow. Totally disagree. This episode was such an easy A they should have titled it "Emma Stone."

"You look like Tigger if Tigger was a jackass."

The A.V. Club
all part of a cycle of violence and pleasure, repression and resistance, witch trials and witchcraft that can only be ended by liberation and revolution

If this news doesn't deserve a "YAS QUEEN" then, frankly, I don't know what does.

"Please, Mrs. Of Sadness is my mother's name. Call me Belladonna."

They need to give either Manny or Luke a steady girlfriend. The fact that every episode both of these two awkward nerds seem to have a new very conventionally attractive love interest is tiresome and ends up creepily objectifying the girls in question.

This episode was astonishingly bad. Normally Modern Family at least features some entertaining throw-away wordplay jokes, but even those were forced and clumsy. The "cheap ho" joke was awful.

That sounds like the kind of keen insight and biting satire that could get somebody a job writing the screenplay for Money Monster.

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

I can. It's Syriana. It's not close.

I thought the same thing about Jodie Foster.

One of these "early and for free" things is for a movie that I actually want to see, that's playing at a time I want to see it? It's an A.V. Club miracle!

I wish I could vote with my feet, but I'm just not flexible enough.

He was so great in Modern Family.

Except the only one Miranda is missing is the O. EGPT doesn't have the same ring to it.

Not according to the musical Hamilton.

It would have been 17 if the Tonys hadn't stopped giving out a Sound Design award. I have some sound designer friends and they all complain about it, always very, very loudly.