You're assuming that the chickens whose meat goes into Chick-fil-A have actual bones.

I'm getting married today! Shower upon me your upvotes!

"Is it just me or was all that ado about nothing?"

"Skinner said the teachers will crack any minute purple monkey dishwasher."

The Atlanta Hawks.

All of her parts are described as "high-pitched shrieking roles."

I'm starting to dream as Cranston!

"Marah Eakin" is an anagram for "Aha! Maker In!" So I think that settles that matter.

I'm glad somebody has seen my sex tape.

Oh if life were only moments, even now and then a bad one.

Nor does it count as a niece.

My grandfather was at a charity auction years ago and won me an appearance in an Archie comic. It came out around the same time as Star Wars Episode 1 and was about Archie and Jughead camping out overnight for the opening of "Star Gazers" or something like that. I appeared asking Jughead for his autograph in exchange…

"Are there Asian girls here? Minority report!" -Childish Gambino, classy as always

Wait, that wasn't the Reading Rainbow guy? Dang, I was racist as a kid.

Wouldn't we all.

Yeah, I'm totally onboard with Spotify being something you have to pay for. It's absolutely worth the money, and would be much better for most artists.

If the aliens attack when she's pmsing then they will be in trouble!

No more terrible puns. You've been Ward.

Always let the Wookie comment first.

It can't help the self-esteem of the kids at those city colleges that you keep spitting on them.