Also my Grandpa.

That's how I respond when people tell me that CG's recent albums have a lot of flavor.

I mean, you could see it coming by the end of Camp, and then all of a sudden ROYALTY dropped and I realized that I needed a proctology agree to continue to appreciate his music.

"What do they call an elevator in England, again? A loff? A blift?"

… Said no one ever.

"You al still have Moist!"

"What does this one look like to you?"

You glue the Blu-Ray disc to your crotch and sprinkle yourself with Doritos crumbs. That's what makes it sexy.

The worst one was when she held up the little statue of the blind woman with the scales of justice and they cut to the coverup scene where they had to reinforce that yes, it was the same statue that had been used in the murder, not some other, random, small golden statue of the blind woman with the scales of justice.

I'm sure that in Shonda tradition he will have all sorts of exciting skeletons in his closet.

He definitely told the guy that he had only hit on him for the information, but that he was boinking him because he felt like it (he may not have actually used the word boinking). I get the feeling that Connor literally gets off on manipulating and controlling people, and that he is either bi or gay.

Prosecutor: Your honor it is obvious that that evidence was obtained illegally!

"Dumb and silent." One of these adjectives describes Rob Schneider, and we all wish the other one did as well.

I think we can all agree that what Simmons did is 150% as bad as what Ray Rice did.

It's because they are suffering from a serious dearth of moms.

"Well, Tina, you're the older sister. You're over all this stuff. You want to go to the mall with your friends and beep each other on your beepers."

Did anyone else see The Boy in the Striped Pajamas? It was as generic a holocaust movie as you could imagine, but that Butterfield kid was remarkably mature and self-assured.

Except that last year's episode "Message Received" got an A, while I maintain that it is one of the five worst episodes of the entire series. I actually refreshed my window when I saw the grade it got because I was so certain that it had loaded wrong.

[Neurozach immediately gets raped by five members of the military. Daniel Tosh watches and laughs.]

They say that being a police informant pays extremely well. That's where the phrase "snitches get riches" come from.