Suicide is never the answer, little trooper!

John Cusack. Truly a sight to behold. A man beaten. The once great actor, now a study in moppishness…

" Gee, i'm really sorry your mom blew up Ricky, guess she won't be able to eat any spicy foods for awhile…"

Were you that little fat kid ?

Didn't the drinking contest between Legolas and Gimli make it seem like Elves aren't really affected by booze? I may not be remembering that correctly.

Beats drinking with Lahey and Randy.

Good luck. We're all counting on you.

" Can I use your toilet? "
" No."
" I didn't think so, that's why I pissed in your garden…"
Good answer Mr. Harris, good answer.

I'd like to go out on a bender with the whole ISIS staff, but I'd want to end up alone with Pam at the end of the evening. Green Russians and chicken 'n waffles at a strip club, and then, well, you know…

The constant screaming does nothing for me. Why hasn't Swanson done something about this? A good 'ol throat punching would probably do wonders for Craig.

Best episode in a while. Ben should definitely drink more often. As ever, Craig is an annoying Albatross around the neck of what was a funny episode. Does anyone think this guy is funny?

I thought that was Rick Scott.

Dirty White Boys and The Day Before Midnight are two really good novels by Hunter. I'm surprised neither have been made into movies considering the author was a film critic at both The Baltimore Sun and The Washington Post for so many years. Point of Impact was made into Shooter with Wahlberg, which wasn't bad if you…

I saw a stand-up comedy special of his and I thought it had some funny stuff in it, but the nervous energy thing just gets on my nerves. It's like he's trying too hard.

I don't see how that's Partisan When someone who is a public figure and that painfully stupid, she may as well be wearing a "kick me hard" sign on her ass.

Lots of kids get their father hammered and fu- … wait a minute…

I think Conan is funny, but late night talk shows are just not a good showcase for any comedian. It's stale, tired format that is past it's prime.

What son hasn't seen his father passed out drunk and naked?

I didn't realize Letterman was a " Libtard Partisan Hack ".

I'm sure i'll watch him on CBS for about a week to see if he's doing anything different. He probably won't though, and i'll lose interest like I do with every late night talk show.