HIVE MIND HIVE MIND:
No hugging. No holding hands. No independent thought or expression of emotion. Sex is an evil, so is expressing affection for anyone of the opposite sex, and especially anyone of the same sex. Peanuts allergies are on the rise in children. Don't get this vaccine because it gives your kid autism.…

I can make this happen for you, Jorge.

Whatever happened to good, strong names?
Like Clarence. Clarence is a strong name. Why, every fella I ever met named Clarence was a stand-up guy. And what about Susan for the ladies? Now that's a graceful name if I ever heard one. But no. Every kid these days has to be unique. Got to have something to set them apart…

@ The Durckk:

You know what puppy I don't like? That Cottonelle puppy. Why choose this animal as a mascot for toilet paper? Is Cottonelle so soft that it feels like wiping your ass with a cuddly puppy? This is not something I want to think about when I'm blowing the lid off the growler.

It's pink! It's Wooooo!

SHUT THAT BABY UP.
Ashton Kutcher needs to be exiled to some remote Tibetan village to live out the rest of his miserable life without a computer, cell phone, Nikon camera or any other device that can be used to service his throbbing ego.

Excuse me friend, I was wondering if you had a few minutes to talk about the Kingdom of Heaven.

Couldn't hold it if ya had four hands.

Fuck that shit.

Atta boy, Modell.
F is the right grade. Fuck this shit.

Hello.
I am a dimwitted hick with a sweet disposition and a propensity for prosyletizing and the laying on of hands. Won't you please enjoy my juxtaposition to this crabby, neurotic and Godless Yankee? I mean how different are we?

*pulls piece of glass out of arm; stabs Hip Hopster; kicks Emperor Jim in the balls*

*hits OtP across the back of the head with a pool cue*

::puts gun in mouth::
::paints wall with brain matter::

God damn Caruso, that was magnificent.

Second the waiters revolted by food.

Oh good Christ.
Pork brains? PORK BRAINS?

WHITHER CHANG?!?

::gives Nilsson's Ghost a thumbs up::